Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: amused
  • Music: We're About 9, 'Writing Again.'

Visits from my mother.

The scene: my cheerfully orange, mildly trashed bedroom, where everybody's favorite perky blonde author is updating her spreadsheet of works in progress. Yes, there's a spreadsheet. With multiple pages, all of which are color-coded according to project status and location. Stop looking at me that way. You'd do it too, if you were juggling this many books.

Enter...my mother.

Mom: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a list of books I'm writing."
Mom: "That's too many."
Me: "I'm not writing them all at once."
Mom: "Your head's going to just blow up."
Me: "I really hope not."
Mom: "You should write this one. I like this one."
Me: "That's the sequel to the sequel to a book I haven't written yet."

There is a pause, during which my mother and I both contemplate the sheer madness of this statement. After a brief explanation of my color coding and what the columns mean, I click over to a different tab to continue updating my data. Sadly, Mom is still standing right behind me. So...

Mom: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a list of short stories."
Mom: "The colors are different."
Me: "Short stories have different stages."
Mom: "What do they mean?"
Me: "Writing, revising, finished, in submission, published."
Mom: "What's this one?"
Me: "That color means it's in submission with a magazine."
Mom: "Well, why don't you have an answer yet?"
Me: "It doesn't work that way."
Mom: "They should answer you."
Me: "Mom, it really doesn't work that way, see the dates? All these dates are within reasonable ranges for the markets in question."
Mom: "Don't they know you're my daughter?"
Me: "I'm sure they'd be scared if they did."
Mom: "I should call these people. I should call them RIGHT NOW."

There is a pause, during which I contemplate my mother calling multiple editors to scold them for taking too long to get back to me. Given her apparent definition of 'too long,' 'too long' means 'two days' (in at least one case).

Me: "Okay, Mom, let's go raid my DVDs until you forget this ever happened."

My mother, terrifying the publishing industry since time was born.
Tags: my mom is nuts
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  • 45 comments
...go 2 levels up... Expand

kyrielle

September 5 2008, 01:57:50 UTC 8 years ago

Which is a good thing, but the exchange is still amusing. *nodnods*

seanan_mcguire

September 5 2008, 14:36:34 UTC 8 years ago

Oh, fully. Even she understands that she's hysterical.