Visits from my mother.: seanan

Visits from my mother.

The scene: my cheerfully orange, mildly trashed bedroom, where everybody's favorite perky blonde author is updating her spreadsheet of works in progress. Yes, there's a spreadsheet. With multiple pages, all of which are color-coded according to project status and location. Stop looking at me that way. You'd do it too, if you were juggling this many books.

Enter...my mother.

Mom: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a list of books I'm writing."
Mom: "That's too many."
Me: "I'm not writing them all at once."
Mom: "Your head's going to just blow up."
Me: "I really hope not."
Mom: "You should write this one. I like this one."
Me: "That's the sequel to the sequel to a book I haven't written yet."

There is a pause, during which my mother and I both contemplate the sheer madness of this statement. After a brief explanation of my color coding and what the columns mean, I click over to a different tab to continue updating my data. Sadly, Mom is still standing right behind me. So...

Mom: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a list of short stories."
Mom: "The colors are different."
Me: "Short stories have different stages."
Mom: "What do they mean?"
Me: "Writing, revising, finished, in submission, published."
Mom: "What's this one?"
Me: "That color means it's in submission with a magazine."
Mom: "Well, why don't you have an answer yet?"
Me: "It doesn't work that way."
Mom: "They should answer you."
Me: "Mom, it really doesn't work that way, see the dates? All these dates are within reasonable ranges for the markets in question."
Mom: "Don't they know you're my daughter?"
Me: "I'm sure they'd be scared if they did."
Mom: "I should call these people. I should call them RIGHT NOW."

There is a pause, during which I contemplate my mother calling multiple editors to scold them for taking too long to get back to me. Given her apparent definition of 'too long,' 'too long' means 'two days' (in at least one case).

Me: "Okay, Mom, let's go raid my DVDs until you forget this ever happened."

My mother, terrifying the publishing industry since time was born.

beable

September 4 2008, 16:23:52 UTC 8 years ago

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Given her apparent definition of 'too long,' 'too long' means 'two days' (in at least one case).

I have a new horrified appreciation of Margaret's sister and her insane deluge of "you have landed in a foreign country why haven't you talked to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? " e-mails.

seanan_mcguire

September 4 2008, 19:50:58 UTC 8 years ago

That is where that came from, yes indeed.

branna

8 years ago

spectralbovine

September 4 2008, 16:35:28 UTC 8 years ago

Mom: "Don't they know you're my daughter?"
Me: "I'm sure they'd be scared if they did."
Mom: "I should call these people. I should call them RIGHT NOW."
Ha! Oh, mothers.

September 4 2008, 19:51:08 UTC 8 years ago

They are ALL CRAZY.

keristor

September 4 2008, 16:43:24 UTC 8 years ago

If I were a publisher I'd be scared *g*...

Deleted comment

September 4 2008, 22:14:53 UTC 8 years ago

My mother has always been good about that. Now she mostly scolds me about not building a time machine and getting her a copy of my book already (Rosemary and Rue won't be out until sometime next year, and I think she's more anxious than I am).

science_vixen

kyrielle

September 4 2008, 17:44:36 UTC 8 years ago

I am dying of laughter here...that's just beautiful.

September 4 2008, 22:15:06 UTC 8 years ago

She crazy, but oh, she cares.

gwynnega

September 4 2008, 18:05:48 UTC 8 years ago

Heeeee.

September 4 2008, 22:15:17 UTC 8 years ago

Parents = comedy.

lapintada

September 4 2008, 18:11:00 UTC 8 years ago

OK see now...
This post (your spreadsheet mostly) --- has SCARED THE CRAP out of me....
Don't think I could be as dedicated!

*bows to you*

September 4 2008, 22:15:37 UTC 8 years ago

Me and my OCD do very well with lists. Not so well with laundry.

syntaxerror37

September 4 2008, 18:59:30 UTC 8 years ago

I think my Mother-in-law would get along well with your mother. Just as a hunch based on her reactions to your spread sheet.

But at least she's supporting you, ready to DEMAND that editors publish you.

September 5 2008, 14:37:18 UTC 8 years ago

She's always been very good about supporting my writing, even though she doesn't understand it. Trying to explain the world of publishing to my mother is...special. Although her willingness to buy beer for my agent is commendable.

vixyish

September 4 2008, 19:03:35 UTC 8 years ago

I <3 your mom.

September 5 2008, 14:37:30 UTC 8 years ago

You need to meet her someday.

talithakalago

September 4 2008, 23:33:33 UTC 8 years ago

I was talking to an editor once who sent a rejection letter to someone who had submitted to them. It later turned out the person who had submitted was 14 and their mother called and abused the editor!