If the apocalypse comes, beep me.

“To attain the SANCTUM REGNUM, in other words, the knowledge and power of the Magi, there are four indispensable conditions--an intelligence illuminated by study, an intrepidity which nothing can check, a will which cannot be broken, and a prudence which nothing can corrupt and nothing intoxicate. TO KNOW, TO DARE, TO WILL, TO KEEP SILENCE--such are the four words of the Magus, inscribed upon the four symbolical forms of the sphinx.”--Eliphas Levi

To Know

By the end of Buffy's run, Willow became one of the most self-possessed members of Buffy's friends. Willow knows who she is; a geek, a computer nerd, a witch, lesbian, a smidge power hungry, longing for acceptance, capable of great evil and capable of great love. Over seven years, I watched Willow add more to her personal self, until at the end all of these selves unite to become the Goddess who releases the spell to empower all the slayers. Willow has been pivotal in accepting aspects of myself; the bad, the good, the queer and even the geeky. Before Willow, I would not identify as a geek--and then suddenly, there was someone on television like me.
Willow knows herself and that brings her great power.

To Will

Watching Willow's struggle to gain mastery of her craft has inspired me for over ten years. Willow reminds me that you can go from floating a pencil to empowering thousands of Slayers in just a few years, that there is no world that is out of reach. Her work has encouraged me on my own spiritual path and encouraged me to keep going even when I feel like I just can't. She gets me on the meditation cushion, reading the books, doing the work of integrating all my selves. Willow is an inspiration to keep going even when my body and mind have let me down. She nearly destroyed the world and came back stronger for it; she could have hidden from her power, but she didn't. She has also encouraged me on my other paths-by watching her work and learn, I can pick up the pen, the needles, the book and try again until I make it. Even though I may only metaphorically float a pencil now, there are bigger things to come.


To Dare
Daring? Willow has it. If it's not infiltrating a clubfull of vampires dressed as her "skanky" vampire self, risking a dangerous spell while ill or helping her best friend patrol for supernatural evil, it's another daring action that shows that all of us--even the shy, bookish types--have more within us than can be imagined, that we can achieve great things if we try.
Willow's most daring action, however, was to come out and open herself to a new relationship with Tara; she risked losing friends, she lost Oz and she said farewell to a normative heterosexual identity to let out another aspect of herself. Willow also opened herself to love again and in doing so, gave others a vision of love that they may have considered strange or frightening before--and perhaps gave some people the strength to open themselves to a queer identity as well.
(When we watched "New Moon Rising" in Boston, my roommate and I (both identified as bi) jumped up,screamed and cheered; obviously, we had/have some privilege, but that moment meant so much, seeing a relationship between two women honored onscreen and celebrated--well, of course we cried and cheered out loud.