"You look tired."
"You should take some time, you know. Some time to rest."
"You should sleep more."
"You have to take care of yourself."
At the end of the day, I do look tired. Why shouldn't I look tired? I am, after all, working two essentially full-time jobs: I get up at 5am every day to travel from my suburban home into San Francisco, where I put in an eight-hour day before repeating the commute in reverse, and spending the evening writing, editing, and trying to stay on top of my frankly horrifying inbox. When all my must-do items are checked off the list, I collapse on the couch with my cats, and watch mindless television to power down my brain. And then the next day, I do it all over again. On the weekends, I either write like my shoes are on fire, or go to conventions, where I have a lovely time, as long as I don't think too hard about how much catching up I'm going to have to do later.
Why do I do this? Why am I working two jobs, with a massive commute in the middle? It's not because I particularly need the money. I know how to make a pound of hamburger last for a week; it's not pretty, but I can do it. I may like to buy books and toys when the cash is coming in, but I do pretty well with amusing myself on what I have then the cash isn't there. So what's the big deal here?
The big deal is medical insurance. The big deal is what can happen to you when you don't have it. The big deal is that not everyone has friends who can put together an anthology of massively awesome authors to save them from bankruptcy* when they get sick, as people have a natural tendency to do.
Melissa Mia Hall didn't have the same option. She died last week of a treatable medical condition, because she couldn't afford to go to the doctor. She died alone in the night, of something modern medical technology could easily have fixed. And yes, they would have treated her if she'd gone to the emergency room, but she didn't go, because she knew—as the uninsured always learn, as I learned, when I didn't have insurance—that it would be expensive, and she couldn't afford to risk losing everything.
My mother doesn't have medical insurance. Neither does my youngest sister. I work two jobs because I need to have medical insurance, and because I live in honest fear of the day Rachel calls to tell me that Mom was having pain and didn't say anything, because she knew it would be expensive. And if that sounds overly dramatic, well. Take a look at either of the examples listed above. One woman who sought medical care and would have lost everything without her friends stepping in; one woman who chose to die rather than gamble with the loss of everything she'd worked for.
And that's why I look tired, and why I wish people would stop telling me how tired I look. I know how tired I look. I just don't see where I have any other choice.
(*If you missed this: Ravens in the Library was an anthology project organized to pay the medical bills of SJ "Sooj" Tucker when she got hit out of the blue by an illness that required serious hospital care. You can see my original post on the matter here. Without that book, Sooj would have been in a lot of financial trouble. I think that book saved her life as lived, even as the hospital saved her life as living.)
February 1 2011, 17:15:52 UTC 6 years ago
February 1 2011, 17:31:20 UTC 6 years ago
Yes, this. I might be resentful some days when I see that 40+% of my income go to the state in taxes and various insurances, but on the other hand I really love the fact that I can always go see a doctor when I need to, and will be able to keep doing so even if I loose my job, or want to go free-lance, or ... .
February 1 2011, 17:42:43 UTC 6 years ago
February 18 2011, 17:54:40 UTC 6 years ago
February 1 2011, 18:17:47 UTC 6 years ago
If one adds to that my health insurance (as one logically would) my "taxes" were nigh on 650%.
Reading this, reading the comments, breaks my heart all over again. The US is a place of such potential for good...
February 15 2011, 19:20:36 UTC 6 years ago
February 1 2011, 20:37:42 UTC 6 years ago
February 15 2011, 16:48:12 UTC 6 years ago
February 1 2011, 21:34:53 UTC 6 years ago
Also, medical expenses are the number one cause of bankruptcies in the US. Medical bankruptcies simply don't exist in other countries.
February 2 2011, 11:46:12 UTC 6 years ago
This is why I argue that the US is not a first world nation. It is a very rich third world nation. First world nations protect their citizenry through universal health care that benefits us all. A country that doesn't do that - through choice, or because it can't afford to - is de facto not first world.
February 2 2011, 11:56:06 UTC 6 years ago
They spend TWICE what Canada or the UK does per capita, for inferior results (though they refuse to admit that).
The worst part is that for all they scream "private healthcare"... 70% of health expenditures ARE government funded.
This means that the US government spends more, per capita, than the Canadian government PLUS the entire Canadian private sector does.
I am very glad I'm in Canada. I've never used our system very much (I have a ridiculous constitution and a fair bit of luck) but many people I know have. A close friend randomly contracted double pnuemonia last year, and was in hospital for 6 weeks, most of it in an induced coma. That's instant bankruptcy in the US, even for most people who DO have coverage.
Even worse? Her roommate had a respiratory infection that had left her in the hospital for EIGHT MONTHS. And they didn't know when she could leave, but estimated a minimum of 2 more months.
Nobody can afford that. Thankfully, we don't have to.
February 2 2011, 13:09:35 UTC 6 years ago
Not to mention that it benefits the country to keep me healthy. A year ago I had bleeding in my eye. It didn't seem anything major, but I only have two eyes... I got an emergency GP appointment, and the GP sent me off for an emergency hospital appointment. Where my eye was looked at and it was concluded it was the result of a minor trauma (abortive plane landing), small tear, nothing to worry about, come back in a month to check. It cost me nothing. It did cost the NHS something - quite a bit by the time you factor in the GP, the technician, the consultant, the equipment, the building. But it cost the country a hell of a lot less than if I had not gone in and it had been a symptom of something for which, left untreated, I had needed expensive treatment. And even that would be less than if I had gone blind and been unable to continue in my employment.
February 3 2011, 06:42:14 UTC 6 years ago
It was particularly painful to see how very little the reform did... and how apeshit everyone went over it.
The US is slave to big business, and healthcare is one of the biggest.
I hate politics.
February 4 2011, 11:42:59 UTC 6 years ago
February 10 2011, 19:24:29 UTC 6 years ago
February 10 2011, 18:08:49 UTC 6 years ago
February 11 2011, 02:27:48 UTC 6 years ago
Believe me, I do.
February 11 2011, 02:33:39 UTC 6 years ago
February 15 2011, 19:16:39 UTC 6 years ago
February 2 2011, 19:26:06 UTC 6 years ago
As a Canadian, I can't get my head around a society where owning a handgun is a right, but visiting a doctor is a privilege.
February 2 2011, 22:55:56 UTC 6 years ago
As an addendum to my original post, and by way of pointing out that shit doesn't have to be this way, one of my best friends - an Australian living and working in Germany - was today diagnosed with cancer. Having gone to a doctor this morning, being Wednesday, he is now booked in for an operation to remove said cancer (and a small part of his anatomy) on Friday. And look: this guy is working as an actor in educational productions. He is by no stretch of the imagination a millionaire! But he and I Skyped for an hour today, talking and joking and generally reassuring one another that he wasn't about to fall down and die at the age of twenty-five (his birthday is next week), and the ONE THING he never had to mention, and I never had to ask about, was whether he could afford the operation. There was never even a question. And if there had been, believe me, I would have heard about it. But ... nothing.
American insurance logic basically need to fall in a hole and die, is what I'm getting at. A DEEP fucking hole.
February 4 2011, 18:44:32 UTC 6 years ago