Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: calm
  • Music: Monster High, "Monster High Fright Song."

Happy Australia Makes You Die Day!

A year has passed, and that means that once again, my big list o' holidays* has landed on a holiday that is very important to me on a deep, meaningful level. Maybe not as deep as Virus Appreciation Day (October 3rd), which I celebrate every year by not unleashing the pandemic, or Cuckoo Warning Day (June 21st), which is best celebrated by evolving parasitic wasps into telepathic humanoids, but still, it's important to me.

Today is Australia Day.

Today we celebrate the existence of Australia, the continent which proves that evolution did a lot of drugs when it was young. Today we celebrate the fact that Australia is full of things that want to make us all die, the fact that Australia is frequently on fire, and the fact that Australia essentially hates humanity. Specific things to celebrate about Australia include venomous snakes, spiders the size of dinner plates, marsupials, really interesting money, the koala (which will totally rip your face off if you poke it), and the cone snail, which is the size of a man's thumb and can kill you extremely dead. This is why you do not fuck around with the native wildlife of Australia.

On a more serious note...Australia is having some serious issues right now, with the flooding in Queensland verging on Biblical proportions. The government of Queensland is organizing flood relief. It's rare that I post this sort of thing, but today is Australia Day, and I'm their Princess, so I felt that it was appropriate. That is one hell of a lot of water, and they're going to need one hell of a lot of buckets to clean it all up.

So thank you for existing, Australia. Today is your day. Your venomous, deadly, kicking-your-ass, being eaten by koalas day.

Hooray Australia!

(*I have a list containing a holiday for every single day of the year. Some days have more than one holiday listed. The world needs more excuses for a party.)
Tags: australia makes you die, requesting things, silliness
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notalwaysweak

January 26 2011, 16:18:04 UTC 6 years ago

I just wanted to say I truly appreciate you posting the flood relief link. I'm not in Queensland myself, but I have donated, and the more buckets we can get, the better. You have a lot of people reading this journal, and so... um, yeah, basically, thank you for spreading the word.

In other news I am reading Feed. I was going to wait until the whole trilogy was out and then read it, but all the reviews made me want to read it now, so I started it on the train today and got so engrossed I nearly missed my stop.

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:48:49 UTC 6 years ago

You're very welcome.

I appreciate you not waiting, really I do, at least in terms of the sales! Try not to miss your tram stops, though...

notalwaysweak

6 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

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tikiera

January 26 2011, 16:25:15 UTC 6 years ago

Somedays, I wish I had your list of holidays. Because really, we do need more days to celebrate.

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:49:21 UTC 6 years ago

We do, don't we?

Today is Punch the Clock Day.

sirriamnis

January 26 2011, 16:41:09 UTC 6 years ago

A friend of mine theorizes that Australians don't love their country, they have Stockholm Syndrome.

geeklite

January 26 2011, 20:54:57 UTC 6 years ago

It's very true.

aineotter

6 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

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ex_serenejo

January 26 2011, 16:47:10 UTC 6 years ago

Best. Post. Ever.

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:49:40 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you!

firebluespinel

January 26 2011, 16:58:11 UTC 6 years ago

Can you post the whole list of holidays sometime, please? I'd be really interested to see it, and I bet I'm not alone.

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:49:49 UTC 6 years ago

But then they wouldn't be a surprise!

bercilakslady

January 26 2011, 17:03:49 UTC 6 years ago

Only in Australia can you have a pet Big Red Kangaroo. (My aunt's family adopted an orphan Big Red, but had to take it to a wildlife reservation when it got big and started annoying the neighbors.)

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:49:58 UTC 6 years ago

And then you can eat it!

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seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:50:16 UTC 6 years ago

...

Australia NEVER STOPS BEING AWESOME.

Street Sharks is my new band name.

lysystratae

6 years ago

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jennielf

January 26 2011, 18:02:04 UTC 6 years ago

May I metaquotes this?

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:50:25 UTC 6 years ago

Surely.

theashgirl

January 26 2011, 18:02:40 UTC 6 years ago

My college had a calendar outside the cafeteria that had a fun holiday listed for every day. (Well, mostly fun. Some were the more run of the mill type holidays, and therefore depressing.) Whenever there was a line to swipe your meal card, we'd sit around speculating as to how one would celebrate each holiday. Good times.

And speaking of Australia: If everything works out as it should, I may be there for a couple of months this summer taking a class and doing an internship. \o/

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:06:06 UTC 6 years ago

Yay!

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ladyphoenixia

January 26 2011, 22:32:48 UTC 6 years ago

For the record, most of the touristy places in Queensland are fine.

Also, if you don't pay for flood insurance, which a lot of people choose not to as it's mroe expensive, then why should you be reimbursed?

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ladyphoenixia

6 years ago

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ladyphoenixia

6 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

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slothman

January 26 2011, 18:52:04 UTC 6 years ago

Hooray for drop bears!

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:06:55 UTC 6 years ago

YES.

meko00

January 26 2011, 19:37:27 UTC 6 years ago

...don't really think koalas are able to digest human flesh, so being eaten by one of them would proably be one of the more useless/senseless ways to go. Ever. Then again, that's pretty fascinating in itself...

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:07:13 UTC 6 years ago

I think they could at least try. To be sporting.

danjite

January 26 2011, 20:03:53 UTC 6 years ago

In Queensland right now. Can say that the folk here really are functioning as a community, working together and Brisbane itself has gotten cleaned up pretty fast, but a lot of outlying suburbs are gonna take a wee while...



seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:07:29 UTC 6 years ago

So glad to hear that people are pulling together.

geeklite

January 26 2011, 20:53:52 UTC 6 years ago

As an Aussie (now living in the SF Bay Area), my theory is that the flooding is caused by the venomous sea-creatures who live in Australian waters. They've decided they haven't caused enough mayhem, and so are planning on invading the land and can't wait until they've evolved legs. I suspect the blue-ringed octopodes as the ringleaders ;)

dornbeast

January 26 2011, 21:20:23 UTC 6 years ago

Okay, now I have complete lunacy crystallizing.

The reason for global warming is the sea creatures. They're tired of humans making a mess of the oceans, so they've started a process of melting the polar ice caps so they can swim in to coastal cities and take over. They will eat humans that don't leave the flooding areas quickly enough.

And then the giant squids come.

aineotter

6 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

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aineotter

January 26 2011, 21:28:46 UTC 6 years ago

Don't forget Box jellies!

...I love jellyfish :)

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:07:57 UTC 6 years ago

They're so CUTE.

judifilksign

January 26 2011, 21:55:14 UTC 6 years ago

I think that I should like to read a Seanan list of holidays. So far, the ones you've talked about are fun and worthy.

And thank you again for topping off my day yesterday with awesome sauce!

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:08:05 UTC 6 years ago

Totally welcome!

biguglymandoll

January 26 2011, 22:36:38 UTC 6 years ago

Oh god, not to ask for spoilers or anything, but... SOBUMD's internet handle in the early days was "Holiday Mommy": She's born on Memorial Day, I'm St Patrick's Day, the eldest was born on Halloween, Number One Son was born on the Summer Solstice.
But we couldn't find ANYTHING for the youngest, August 21. Whatcha got? Will you share? Barring anything else, we told her she'd just need to get famous as all get out and it WILL be a holiday. ;-)

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2011, 15:23:24 UTC 6 years ago

Well, I've got August 21st as National Spumoni Day. That's...about it, really.

lejays17

January 26 2011, 22:40:06 UTC 6 years ago

And not only is Queensland flooding to Biblical proportions, but it's also happening to Victoria on the "quiet".

Happy Australia Day to you as well, O Princess of My Land *curtseys with a flourish*

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:08:20 UTC 6 years ago

You may rise.

ironed_orchid

January 26 2011, 23:52:42 UTC 6 years ago

I love this.

Especially as for me, Australia day marks the anniversary of my I-went-to-hospital-and-they-stopped-me-from-dying day.

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:08:34 UTC 6 years ago

AWESOME.

I support your un-death.

dr_zrfq

January 27 2011, 00:03:46 UTC 6 years ago

And because it bears repeating: "Deadly Animals (Come To Australia)" by the Scared Weird Little Guys.

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:08:42 UTC 6 years ago

YES.

17catherines

January 27 2011, 01:11:11 UTC 6 years ago Edited:  January 27 2011, 01:14:43 UTC

Don't forget the platypus, which, in addition to looking as though someone crossed a duck with a beaver, also has a poisonous spur on its hind legs...

Thanks for linking to the flood relief appeal. We're having a bad run with floods and fires at present - even Victoria, two states south of Queensland, managed to be affected.

ETA:

Also, it's not just our animals which are deadly...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7ci3b-IsWg

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:09:08 UTC 6 years ago

You're always welcome.

I love poisonous mammals.

17catherines

6 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

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17catherines

6 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

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gorgeousgary

January 27 2011, 01:57:19 UTC 6 years ago

And while we're celebrating all things Down Under, I'll toss in a shout-out to teenage sailing sensation Jessica Watson. Whose book detailing her circumnavigation is one of many, many things on my to-be-read bookcase.

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:09:17 UTC 6 years ago

Woo!

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seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:09:26 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you!

kay_gmd

January 27 2011, 03:22:43 UTC 6 years ago

I read this part:
"Virus Appreciation Day (October 3rd), which I celebrate every year by not unleashing the pandemic"

and my first thought was she doesn't really have a pandemic...or at least she wouldn't ever release it, but then I start wondering and I'm not sure if I'm amazed or terrified

O well we've got half a year until the next time it comes up : )

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:09:39 UTC 6 years ago

Yes.

Yes, you do.

dr_zrfq

January 27 2011, 08:30:14 UTC 6 years ago

Although 17catherines has mentioned one of the videos already, here is the complete sequence from The Gruen Transfer:

"Invade New Zealand" pseudo-adverts:

Invade New Zealand #1

Invade New Zealand #2

And then, New Zealand Pay-back! (The same ad as Australian Anti-Tourism #2)

And Australian Anti-Tourism #1.

seanan_mcguire

January 31 2011, 05:09:51 UTC 6 years ago

Brilliant.
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