quixotic1. What is your name?
a) Jack, John, Margaret, or Janet.
b) Peter or Molly.
c) Anything else.
2. How many brothers do you have?
a) I have six older brothers.
b) I have seven brothers.
c) I have one brother/no brothers.
3. How many sisters do you have?
a) I have two stepsisters.
b) I have twelve sisters.
c) I have one sister/no sisters.
4. Where are your parents?
a) Parents?
b) Therein lies the tragic tale...
c) Home. Probably wondering where I am.
5. What time of year does it appear to be?
a) It's a fine morning in May.
b) The dead of winter.
c) I don't know. Summer-ish? Maybe?
6. Say something. What happens?
a) AHHHH WHY ARE SNAKES AND/OR DIAMONDS FALLING OUT OF MY MOUTH?!?
b) There's no sound. Maybe I need some hot tea or something.
c) "Something."
7. Your clothing is made of:
a) Thorns and brambles.
b) Cloth of gold and enchanted spider silk
c) A cotton-polyester blend.
8. The creatures of the forest are...
a) Offering me sage advic—HOLY CRAP I CAN TALK TO BIRDS.
b) Trying to lead me somewhere. Should I follow the squirrels?
c) Dinner.
9. An elderly woman warns you not to leave the path through the deep, dark woods. Do you...
a) Leave the path immediately. Can't fool me, old woman!
b) Stay on the path.
c) Deep, dark woods? Screw this, I'm going to the wolf-free, well-lit meadow.
Give yourself five points for every "a," three points for every "b," and one point for every "c."
Now for the yes/no questions:
10. Do you find yourself faced with the urge to rove out?
11. Look to the distance, beyond the misty mountains. Is there a castle?
12. Is it made of glass?
13. Yeah, don't go there. Are you going to go there?
14. When someone warns you not to wear gold in your hair and go to Cauterha, will you listen?
15. Are your shoes made of iron, glass, or something else that shoes shouldn't be made of?
Give yourself five points for every "yes," and one point for every "no."
THE RESULTS.
75-51 points: You are in a fairy tale. You are in a fairy tale RIGHT NOW. How the hell are you even getting to the Internet? Did Rapunzel forget to lock her wifi or something? Anyway, you'll never be seen again. Sorry about that. Watch out for glass coffins.
50-31 points: You are in danger of falling into a fairy tale. Be careful. Carry rope. Really, just wear a hiking pack everywhere you go. IT WILL BE WORTH IT. Trust me. Oh, and avoid spindles, towers, rampion, talking cats, candles, and anyone named "Jack."
30-15 points: You are not in a fairy tale. You probably work in a nice office. You will live a long and wolf-free life.
And they all lived* happily ever after.
(*Unless they were eaten by wolves. Or impaled on fast-growing thorn briars. Or poisoned. Or drowned and turned into a musical instrument. Or killed by a jealous spouse. Or turned into stew by robbers. Or...)
September 22 2010, 13:34:48 UTC 6 years ago
Hey, Othar Tryggvassen managed to find a Twitter feed from inside a Heterodyne story.
September 22 2010, 14:28:07 UTC 6 years ago