Officially the Princess of the Kingdom of Poison and Flame.: seanan

Officially the Princess of the Kingdom of Poison and Flame.

You guys.

This is so hard to write. I've literally started this post eight times, and deleted it every time, and started over, trying to find the words I want. Words are usually something that I find pretty easy—sometimes too easy, as my tendency to never shut the hell up can testify. Not right now. Right now, the words are very hard. So very hard.

I spent most of this year's WorldCon in a cheerful fugue state, throwing myself into things as hard as I could in order to keep from thinking about the Hugo Awards. Jeanne, Cat, Rob, Liz, Paul, Mondy, Jay, Shannon, John, seriously, thank you so much, because if you hadn't been there, I would probably have spontaneously combusted. As it was, it was occasionally difficult not to ask how people could be so damn calm when the votes were in and there was nothing we could do and why couldn't we just know already?

Sunday, Jeanne, Gretchen, and I descended on Cat's hotel room to get ready for the Hugos. Cat met us at the door, and ordered me to close my eyes. I am a trusting blonde; I closed my eyes. She led me into the main room, and let me open my eyes, to find myself facing a bed covered in tiaras. Covered in tiaras. "Because," she said, "your friends wanted to be sure that no matter what, you went home with a tiara."

You guys.

I love you so much.

Susan came to do our hair. We put on dresses and makeup and nail polish and smiles, like nothing about the night mattered...and to a degree, right then, it didn't. We sang along to "Firebird's Child" and "Ship Full of Monsters," and the Night Kitchen in Seattle filled with people watching the live feed and sending all their love across the sea. We were together, and the world was full of magic, and we went to the reception and drank free champagne and had people tell us how amazing we looked, and it was amazing. (Cat and I managed, totally accidentally, to acquire dresses in basically the same colors. I felt like I should have brought her a corsage.)

Then we went to the actual award ceremony. Cat and I sat in the second row; Gretchen and Jeanne sat right behind us. The order of the evening was "opening speech, video presentation, First Fandom Award, Big Heart Award, Campbell Award." Jay Lake and John Scalzi presented the Campbell. They took the stage together, and explained the tiara, and read the nominees, and I clutched Cat's hand like the audience was an ocean and I was going to go under. Kathryn Daugherty came out, holding the award, name turned toward her so no one could see it. John opened the envelope.

"And the winner of this year's John W. Campbell Award for best new writer is..."

And they said my name.

And I sat there, because the room was spinning and I could taste sounds and they couldn't mean me. And Cat pushed me to my feet, and everyone was clapping, and I walked to the stage while the Buffy: the Vampire Slayer theme played and the room spun and tears made everything blurry, and I just said "Oh my God" over and over again, because there was nothing else in the whole world that I could say. And Kathryn gave me the plaque, and John and Jay gave me hugs, and they put the tiara on my head, and you guys...oh, you guys...

I am the Princess of the Kingdom of Poison and Flame. I am the 2010 Campbell Award winner. I am the first urban fantasist to win the Campbell Award. Because they said my name.

I will be more coherent soon. I will write about my acceptance speech soon. I will stop gasping a little every time I see the tiara soon. But oh, you guys.

I won.

apocalypticbob

September 9 2010, 18:50:20 UTC 6 years ago

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If I were any more happy for you, I would explode in a shower of glitter and gore.

You deserve it, hon. Every minute of it!

touch_of_ink

September 9 2010, 19:31:42 UTC 6 years ago

You made me laugh, while I was crying. At work.

Thank you :)

6 years ago

seanan_mcguire

swevene

September 9 2010, 18:50:22 UTC 6 years ago

I am so happy for you and thrilled that I've been reading you from the start (and I have a book with your signature goodness gracious I should put that somewhere safe) and... wow, watching you having become so successful over these last few years has given me so much inspiration and hope for myself.

You fully deserve every particle of success and happiness that you get. You're awesome and Alice and Lilly have the best mommy in the world.

September 10 2010, 04:18:20 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you so so so much.

vixyish

September 9 2010, 18:51:14 UTC 6 years ago

I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

There was unabashed screaming in the Night Kitchen when the word came over the live chat. All the rest of that night I couldn't stop alternately giggling and squeeing and sobbing and clapping my heands and repeating "she won! she won! she won!" I am sure I was interesting to be around. :)

aiglet gets the credit for initiating the Great Tiara Conspiracy. (Be assured that none of us actually expect the cats to *wear* their tiaras.)

Next week I hugs the stuffing out of you. Also you must model your tiara for us. :)

spectralbovine

September 9 2010, 19:00:02 UTC 6 years ago

I am sorry I will miss you next week! Alas, I will be in Budapest, seeing an opera for five dollars.

snowcoma

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September 10 2010, 04:24:36 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you.

gwynnega

September 9 2010, 18:53:30 UTC 6 years ago

Giant congratulations!!!

September 10 2010, 04:33:14 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you!

jaylake

September 9 2010, 18:54:45 UTC 6 years ago

It was a joy and a privilege to be part of your award experience. You rocked.

Plus a fun weekend!

September 10 2010, 04:33:33 UTC 6 years ago

I adore you so.

And yes, very fun weekend. I'll email soon about ribbons.

vulpine137

September 9 2010, 18:55:05 UTC 6 years ago

Oh, I hadn't heard. So many conga-rats to you !!!! This just made my day a little bit. :)

September 10 2010, 04:33:46 UTC 6 years ago

September 10 2010, 04:33:58 UTC 6 years ago

Glee. :)

Thanks.

ericcoleman

September 9 2010, 18:56:04 UTC 6 years ago

This made put a lump in my throat and a grin on my face. I am so happy for you.

September 10 2010, 04:34:10 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you, sweetie.

Congrats

maverick_weirdo

September 9 2010, 18:56:24 UTC 6 years ago

I was at a weekend long gaming event (24/2) when Sunday morning I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried Yeah Seanan!

I rushed over to a friend who had a laptop, and they confirmed it was true.

Re: Congrats

September 10 2010, 04:34:19 UTC 6 years ago

Heeeeeeee.

joecoustic

September 9 2010, 18:57:05 UTC 6 years ago

So many *hugs* and congratulations on a well deserved win!

September 10 2010, 04:34:30 UTC 6 years ago

ceosanna

September 9 2010, 18:58:04 UTC 6 years ago

FANTASTIC news!!

September 10 2010, 04:45:46 UTC 6 years ago

mariadkins

September 9 2010, 18:59:08 UTC 6 years ago

this is so beyond awesome! :)

September 10 2010, 04:45:57 UTC 6 years ago

I am over the moon.

sleary

September 9 2010, 18:59:15 UTC 6 years ago

I squeed. And chairdanced. :)

Congratulations!

September 10 2010, 04:46:10 UTC 6 years ago

maryrobinette

September 9 2010, 18:59:54 UTC 6 years ago

So proud of you and I know exactly how you feel.

Wear the tiara every frackin' second you can.

September 10 2010, 04:46:26 UTC 6 years ago

I fully intend to, believe me. I'm wearing it right now.

September 10 2010, 04:46:37 UTC 6 years ago

September 10 2010, 04:47:02 UTC 6 years ago

orikes13

September 9 2010, 19:02:38 UTC 6 years ago

eeeeeeeeeee! Congratulations!!!!

That is so awesome to hear. I was hoping you would get good news (and a tiara), but to actually hear it gives me a huge grin. :)

September 10 2010, 04:47:14 UTC 6 years ago

Oh, yay. :)

debmats

September 9 2010, 19:03:31 UTC 6 years ago

Congratulations!!!!

September 10 2010, 04:47:26 UTC 6 years ago

happyfunpaul

September 9 2010, 19:03:48 UTC 6 years ago

Yay! Congrats!

September 10 2010, 04:47:38 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you. :)

calendula_witch

September 9 2010, 19:04:36 UTC 6 years ago

You rock, oh mighty princess, like a thing that rocks.

Ah, the fun. Makes it even worth the jetlag. :-)

September 11 2010, 00:22:56 UTC 6 years ago

Totally so.

I am, however, now the walking dead, and mostly staggering through my days like I might keel over at any moment.

lyssabard

September 9 2010, 19:04:56 UTC 6 years ago

*YAAAAAAY!!!*
*Snoopy dance*

Congratulations!!!

September 11 2010, 00:23:24 UTC 6 years ago

catnip13

September 9 2010, 19:06:15 UTC 6 years ago

Welcome home, I love you and I'm so proud of you. You've always had an amazing gift, and all of your hard work is finally starting to pay off. (hugs)

(There was much squealing and dancing going on here, as well. You should have seen the flurry of text messages going back and forth between

firestrike and me once I woke up to the news.)

I've been wearing the last pendant you gave me since the news came in.