The other day, I was in Safeway—buying Diet Dr Pepper, naturally—when I heard the guy up ahead of me say something to his friends that I was positive I must have misheard. Specifically, what I heard him say was "and there's this really awesome parasitic wasp that drives its victims like cars." Now, I like parasitic wasps. I am, one might say, unduly fascinated by parasitic wasps. So I tend to assume that when I hear other people bring them up in conversation, I'm hearing them wrong.
I began shamelessly eavesdropping...and wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, he was talking about insect parasitism! Yay! As the conversation swung toward blood flukes, I interjected to note that blood flukes were probably largely responsible for the evolution of gendered reproduction. He looked, in a word, delighted.
What followed was the largest, rowdiest, happiest discussion of parasite behavior I have ever been involved with outside of a group of my friends. All five of the people involved had read Parasite Rex, and parthenogentic reproduction came up, gleefully.
I think I may have met my male equivalent from a nearby parallel dimension.
Dude, I envy you. The the only kinds of conversations I ever get into at the grocery store are debates at the local Whole Foods where I end up trying not to throttle hyperactive yuppy moms who are convinced vaccines cause autism and lecture me on being selfish for not replicating yet.
"You don't understand because you're not a mommy! And you're not a mommy because you're SELFISH!!!!"
It's enough to make me want to attempt to drown myself or them in organic fruit juice.
Although I did recently learn something very nifty about parasites from my friend Amber (an evolutionary biologist) who sent me a totally neat article about parasites that need cats to reproduce (it doesn't harm the cat) but grow in mice (...it does harm the mouse). Since mice are afraid of cats, the parasite screws with the mouse's brain and makes it absolutely LOVE the scent of cats, which causes the mouse to be caught and eaten by a cat, which allows the parasite to reproduce in the cat's digestive tract or somesuch. Apparently there is a line of thought that this parasite might be responsible for crazy cat ladies and cat hording. Most parasite things freak me out but I thought that was pretty interesting.
My MiL had polio, and I had plenty of vaccines & immunizations. Neither my sister, my son, or I are autistic, and I know damn well that "science" is bunk.
IF you are selfish, or have goals that impair your taking good care of children being reared, then you *shouldn't* have kids. I have seen enough parents who shouldn't have reproduced, and the kids they warped.
Then there are the parents who try so hard to rear good kids against all odds, and sometimes fail through no fault of their own. Sometimes you can't beat the odds.
You're spot on, actually. My husband just finished grad school, I just finished law school, and neither of us are employed yet. We're not doing all that good a job taking care of ourselves, although our longer term prospects are still good. I can't even have my cats here yet. I think it would be very irresponsible to have kids now, although we do want them later.
I'm just almost thirty now so I get the whole "YOUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING." (to which I usually reply, "No, your grandmother clock is ticking, mom." Because it's usually my mom. Then I tell her "Spoil your grandcats while you have custody." because she's keeping my two cats until one of us has a real job.)
My "clock" never ticked until a hypomania in Sept 95, when my son was 18 mo. I beat it down severely--I'd been a wreck his first year, and I wasn't out of the woods yet.
I was almost 35 when I married, and 4 days & 40 yrs when my son was born. We used condoms, and family history prevailed over dire warnings of fertility problems at 35 or so: TWO cycles later I was preggers. I wanted an Oct. kid, I got yet another January birthday, blast it.
I had the amniocentesis that's done earlier than the one with the needle through the abdomen. No detectable genetic issues. Because of low amnio fluid levels a week before my due date, I had a C-section, wiht a healthy baby at the end of it.
I am not a natural mother. I was not a baby mom. I had too much overwhelm to function well, but enough sene to get help. Later, when a long series of problems took us to a psychiatrist, we were both diagnosed with bipolar disorder (came from both sides of the family, not just mine, I found out later). He was more than a handful, and I was somewhat cluelss and definitely overwhelmed. I had sense enough to get help, and I began seeing his therapist, who helped me learn how to be a healthier mother to my son.
Eventually we both got our medications titred correctly, and I have a teen with whom I have a very good relationship.
I have overcome most of the obstacles in front of me: none f them were due to being an older mom! So yes, it is your mother's clock chiming.
It's become a hilarious point of contention between mom and me. She sees pictures of me with my niece (my husband's niece--my brothers are much, much younger than me) and goes "Doesn't it make you want one of your own?"
"No."
"But WHY?"
"Because when she is whiny and poopy I can hand her back to her mother. She's whiny and poopy a lot."
I don't like babies. I like kids. Little kids even. Babies not so much. If I could grow a child in a vat and decant it when it was 19 months old and starting to form coherent words I'd be happy as a clam.
geeky
June 30 2010, 17:32:23 UTC 7 years ago
"You don't understand because you're not a mommy! And you're not a mommy because you're SELFISH!!!!"
It's enough to make me want to attempt to drown myself or them in organic fruit juice.
Although I did recently learn something very nifty about parasites from my friend Amber (an evolutionary biologist) who sent me a totally neat article about parasites that need cats to reproduce (it doesn't harm the cat) but grow in mice (...it does harm the mouse). Since mice are afraid of cats, the parasite screws with the mouse's brain and makes it absolutely LOVE the scent of cats, which causes the mouse to be caught and eaten by a cat, which allows the parasite to reproduce in the cat's digestive tract or somesuch. Apparently there is a line of thought that this parasite might be responsible for crazy cat ladies and cat hording. Most parasite things freak me out but I thought that was pretty interesting.
June 30 2010, 20:32:48 UTC 7 years ago
IF you are selfish, or have goals that impair your taking good care of children being reared, then you *shouldn't* have kids. I have seen enough parents who shouldn't have reproduced, and the kids they warped.
Then there are the parents who try so hard to rear good kids against all odds, and sometimes fail through no fault of their own. Sometimes you can't beat the odds.
June 30 2010, 23:45:20 UTC 7 years ago
I'm just almost thirty now so I get the whole "YOUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING." (to which I usually reply, "No, your grandmother clock is ticking, mom." Because it's usually my mom. Then I tell her "Spoil your grandcats while you have custody." because she's keeping my two cats until one of us has a real job.)
July 1 2010, 03:07:18 UTC 7 years ago
I was almost 35 when I married, and 4 days & 40 yrs when my son was born. We used condoms, and family history prevailed over dire warnings of fertility problems at 35 or so: TWO cycles later I was preggers. I wanted an Oct. kid, I got yet another January birthday, blast it.
I had the amniocentesis that's done earlier than the one with the needle through the abdomen. No detectable genetic issues. Because of low amnio fluid levels a week before my due date, I had a C-section, wiht a healthy baby at the end of it.
I am not a natural mother. I was not a baby mom. I had too much overwhelm to function well, but enough sene to get help. Later, when a long series of problems took us to a psychiatrist, we were both diagnosed with bipolar disorder (came from both sides of the family, not just mine, I found out later). He was more than a handful, and I was somewhat cluelss and definitely overwhelmed. I had sense enough to get help, and I began seeing his therapist, who helped me learn how to be a healthier mother to my son.
Eventually we both got our medications titred correctly, and I have a teen with whom I have a very good relationship.
I have overcome most of the obstacles in front of me: none f them were due to being an older mom! So yes, it is your mother's clock chiming.
July 1 2010, 21:09:00 UTC 7 years ago
"No."
"But WHY?"
"Because when she is whiny and poopy I can hand her back to her mother. She's whiny and poopy a lot."
I don't like babies. I like kids. Little kids even. Babies not so much. If I could grow a child in a vat and decant it when it was 19 months old and starting to form coherent words I'd be happy as a clam.