Even around here, it's not every day that a big blue biohazard bag hits my porch. I'm just saying.
I picked up the bag, checking the tags in the vague hope that it had been mis-delivered to my house, and was actually intended for the mad scientist down the way. Nope; there was my name and address, along with the ominous routing tag for Sweden. Yes, Sweden, land of chocolates and, quite possibly, human organs and anthrax. I mean, why else would it have been secured with two heavy plastic zip-ties?
Lacking anything better to do with the bag, I took it inside, cleared the cutting board, and put it down. Then, after a quick check of my time zone-based options, I called Cat. "I have a big international biohazard shipping bag in my kitchen," I informed her, without preamble.
"What?" She was laughing. This is because humor is the best defense against me sometimes.
"Big international biohazard bag. I need you to call the CDC if I start screaming and drop the phone."
"Um...okay."
It took several minutes with the industrial-grade scissors to work my way into the bag, which kept producing more and more ominous routing stickers as I ripped my way inside. Finally, I ripped away the last layer, and shrieked happily.
Cat did not hang up and call the CDC. All those of you not currently trapped in the blasted quarantine zone that used to be California, you can thank her.
"It's the British edition of Feed!" I told her exultantly.
"Oh, good."
I have the UK copies of Feed! They're so pretty! They're only subtly different from the American edition—redder blood, because presumably the Rising is still fresher in England's memory; the word "bloggers" is actually on the back cover; no number "one" on the spine; a quote from Publishers Weekly on the front—but having them fills me with deep, atavistic satisfaction. This is the first British edition of one of my books. I am PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED KINGDOM, yo. The cast of Doctor Who could wander into a Waterstone's and just pick up one of my books, without worrying about the import sticker. I'm global. And stuff.
This is even better than illegal human organ trafficking. I'm just saying.
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May 20 2010, 02:26:41 UTC 7 years ago
Unfortunately, that would do the land fills no good but still it could look cool on the shelf.
BTW, do I even want to know why they sent it in blue biohazard bag?
May 20 2010, 03:56:02 UTC 7 years ago
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May 20 2010, 03:56:52 UTC 7 years ago
May 20 2010, 02:53:12 UTC 7 years ago
And clearly, the UK publishers know you well. "We're sending an author copy of Feed to McGuire." "So wrap up in brown paper or something. You need a box?" "No, I'll just use the big blue biohazard bag. She'll like that."
May 20 2010, 03:57:14 UTC 7 years ago
May 20 2010, 02:54:04 UTC 7 years ago
Now if we could only have been there and opened the bag WITH you, how cool would that have been!
We could have ALL 'sploded!
May 20 2010, 03:57:43 UTC 7 years ago
You need to come over and meet Alice.
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May 20 2010, 03:21:04 UTC 7 years ago
Now, now...If The Simpsons taught us anything, it's that GERMANY is the true Land of Chocolate ;-)
May 20 2010, 03:59:01 UTC 7 years ago
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May 20 2010, 03:23:40 UTC 7 years ago
Congrats! And.... The real test will be if Arther Dent takes one along when Earth is destroyed, :) It would be an apt antidote for Vogon poetry. Because it's the best!
May 20 2010, 03:59:49 UTC 7 years ago
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May 20 2010, 03:25:26 UTC 7 years ago
There's only one copy in each place now.
May 20 2010, 04:00:10 UTC 7 years ago
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May 20 2010, 05:11:14 UTC 7 years ago
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May 20 2010, 07:57:11 UTC 7 years ago
You're going to be at Baycon, right?
May 20 2010, 14:51:48 UTC 7 years ago
May 20 2010, 08:17:12 UTC 7 years ago
I am going to start checking shops, Amazon UK has release date as June 3rd so it might appear soon. I can't wait to be able to buy a book of yours in an actual shop :D
May 20 2010, 14:51:56 UTC 7 years ago
May 20 2010, 08:40:05 UTC 7 years ago
I have to admit, I figured it was something to do with FEED when I started reading, but I think I'd still be like "um, how do I open this?!" if I were in your place...
--Ember--
May 20 2010, 14:52:18 UTC 7 years ago
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May 20 2010, 12:34:41 UTC 7 years ago
I suppose you'll never have to worry about the post leaving a parcel out in the rain now.
May 20 2010, 14:52:54 UTC 7 years ago
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May 20 2010, 16:05:05 UTC 7 years ago
BTW, it is YOUR FAULT nothing is getting done at home...I'm partway thru the US version of FEED and cannot put it down!
May 21 2010, 14:32:35 UTC 7 years ago
...but I'm not actually sorry.
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May 20 2010, 16:06:18 UTC 7 years ago
No, seriously, totally brilliant.
The Stig approves. We think. (Some say that he's a zombie in a racing suit, and he feeds on the brains of racing commentators and is thus always hungry. All we know is, he's called the Stig.)
May 21 2010, 14:32:49 UTC 7 years ago
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Ahem.
Sorry.
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