FEED spoiler party!

Sobbed when Buffy died. Bawled like an inconsolable wretch when George died. For that to happen, for Shaun to have to be the one to end her life... heartbreaking.

I didn't expect to like George, but she grew on me throughout the book to the point where I have a tough time imagining the rest of the series without her. The last time I can remember crying this hard over the death of a character in a book was when I was a young girl and read Little Women for the first time and Beth died. It was my first moment when I realized that main characters could die, people you loved, who had done nothing wrong. Losing George was a Tara killing moment. A Wash killing moment. It's something Joss would do. It made me want a disclaimer sticker on the cover that says "Do not love the people in this book. It is a killing book."

And I still can't wait for the next one.

This, although what really got me, stupidly, was when Lois got it. I am fortunate that one of my cats will actually tolerate being held onto very tightly for long periods of time.

No, I totally get that. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to mourn Lois. I expect that someday it will hit me when I'm in the shower, and I'll break down in tears over the poor, broken cat.

Grief is funny that way.

Yeah.

I was in the proofing pool and Seanan was in chat when I got to the part about Lois. I spent the next several minutes alternately swearing at her (mostly out loud rather than in chat) and babbling inconsolably (mostly in chat). I had to cry on a dog, though... none of my cats would stand for it.

I'm enjoying re-reading it now that it's "a real book" (it's all shiny and new just because it's ink on paper instead of a Word file) and I know _exactly_ where Feed will make me cry and I still can't put it down.

Oh, you can't cry on my cat either, but he will tolerate being held closely after you get done bawling. :)

It's terribly odd, because he's a lynx point Siamese (Siamese mix w/Siamese fur but tabby points) and it's the big black one who won't sit still for that. The big black one is also the talky one. IDEK.

Oh, Lois. And after everything she survived, to be killed by a stupid, mean, cruel "human"--well, genetic human. I share her person's confusion at how anyone could do anything so mean to a little bitty cat. I had better stop thinking about it or I will start crying again.

The scariest thing in this book was not the zombies or the virus that made them. I mean, Kellis-Amberlee is scary in that you could imagine it happening to you or to people/pets you love and that's terrifying, but it doesn't hold a candle to the knowledge that there are evil people in the real world who would actually do the very human, very evil things that Tate and his asshole patrol do, if they had the power to do them. Killing Lois was one of those things, and...I've always had cats who were rescued either by me or someone else, I have strong feelings about all cats deserving a good life, but especially cats who've had more to survive!

Last night someone asked me who would be a worse president, Sarah Palin or Tate, and I told them after a moment's thought that while Tate reminds me of some of the people who support Palin, Sarah Palin is not known for her reluctance to give up power when she is done with it, and Tate, I think, would not have stopped at winning the Presidency itself--he would have found a way to make himself President-For-Life.

All of my cats (currently three, after losing two to old age last year) are rescues. The big mooshy boy is the most likely to let himself be hugged tightly or cried on, and Izzy (this icon) would totally get all up in my face and try to cheer me up if I was crying, but nothing beats the big dumb English Setter for hugging and snuggling. (Well, horses are most excellent for hugging, but I don't currently _have_ a horse.)

I spent a ridiculous amount of time, when first reading Feed, looking at 65-lb Thunder (the Setter) and 35-lb Drummer (the Toller) and thinking about how I could keep Drummy on the thin side to keep him safely below the amplification threshold, but poor Thunder... my poor spotted goofy boy... my clumsy, kinda-brainless boy... would I even spot the early signs if he was amplifying??

My cats do try to cheer me up. But yeah, dogs are also awesome for this. Alas, I live in a San Francisco apartment and am gone most of the day, so I can't has dog; the ones who'd tolerate the lack of space wouldn't tolerate the lack of my presence, and vice versa.

And no, you might not spot early amplification in a big, not too bright dog. Setters are not known for super high intelligence, just looks and personality--as you know. Alas.

Of course the other problem is that any animal can get active virus and die of it, even if it doesn't amplify. I would notice if my meezer baby got sick, because he's a rather bright cat, but he nips when he's feeling lovey or neglected; would he nip if he got sick, and would I realise what the problem was before I amplified myself and ate him and the other cat? Things I don't want to think about.

So I have two meezers! Good to know :) Seriously, my big black beast is the talkiest thing ever, especially if he's irritated. G-d forbid there should be poo in the litter box for more than a half second.

I nearly threw the book against the wall when George died, but I didn't because it's a *book*.

I wanted to, though.

I sobbed uncontrollably for several minutes, after the part where I was thinking "Oh, she's not going there. She's *not* going there. She really isn't...she is. Oh fuckweasels, she *went* there.

I had to put the book down when Buffy died. ("I don't like this book any more," I told my fiance, putting the book down. Five minutes later, I picked the book back up.) Some of that was because I was crying so hard.

And then? I spent the whole climax muttering, "No, no, no, Seanan, don't do this to me, don't do this to me, please, oh God, oh, no," etc, tears pouring down my cheeks, and I cried harder than I've ever cried over a literary death in my 30 years of reading fiction. Hard enough that my fiance made me spoil him because I was scaring him so bad. I HATE THIS SERIES WHEN IS THE NEXT ONE COMING OUT.

I bought an electronic copy so I can put it on my ebook reader and take it with me everywhere. I have had the same book as my favorite book for ten years or so - give me one more reading and I think Seanan may displace Stephen King at the top. (94% of the population dying is pretty terrible. It's worse when they drop dead and then EAT YOUR FACE. Just saying.)

Yeah. My Twitter review was something like "Mira Grant, I both hate you and love you right now."

This

Really? I knew she was going to die before I hit Book 2, and I was so sure of it by the end of Book 2 that I checked the back to be sure (hell yes I'm that kind of a reader). I was pretty pleased by how fairly you played it.

That being said, even knowing it was coming, I was sobbing so hard from the last blood test on that, thanks to my heavy seasonal allergies and the way I'm draining straight into my lungs this year (thanks, respiratory system, thanks bunches) I coughed and hacked myself into vomiting.

And then, since I couldn't bear to stop reading long enough to calm down, I did it again.

Yeah. "Mira Grant's Feed! So good it made me hurl!...no, wait, really!" It doesn't really have much promise as a marketing tool, but I swear, Feed's the best book I've read all year, and it's right up there in the all-life rankings.

Really? I knew she was going to die before I hit Book 2, and I was so sure of it by the end of Book 2 that I checked the back to be sure (hell yes I'm that kind of a reader). I was pretty pleased by how fairly you played it.
I kept figuring Shaun would die at some point (not the first book, surely), but I got a sinking feeling when I saw "the unpublished files of Georgia Mason." Except I didn't think you were allowed to kill your narrator, especially when she was narrating in past tense. Isn't that against the rules? DAMMIT.

During my next reread, I think I'm going to keep official count of the number of casual or explicit references to Georgia's rock-solid belief that Shaun would die first.

By the second, I knew.

I think that's why I *don't* hate you for this--because I know how much you love and feel all your characters, and that whatever you're going to do, you're going to feel it as hard and even more personally than we do. *sunny smile* You're not just torturing us to get our attention, or killing off characters in order to jerk other characters around.

No, really, I respect that a lot. And also I know how it feels. (Oh, hellmuses.)

I TOTALLY respect that in a character.