All this media consumption, however, comes with a price, and that price is a tendency to notice—and sometimes be bothered by—trends. Most recently, it's been an unexpected consequence of that old fairy tale saw, the happily ever after. You know the one I mean. Where they meet and kiss and marry and run off to live forever and ever in unchanging bliss. At least until the sequel, where she dies and he remarries and the new wife is horrible but luckily their daughter is beautiful and smart and looking for a husband, and...
Yeah.
This seems to have created the belief that once a couple hooks up, that's it, it's over, no more fun, no more fantastic adventures, no more anything but a rapid excuse to break them up. They can get together for good at the end of your story, but dude, once they're together? The happy ever after kicks in, and your options are "breakup" or "death." And it's not limited to the shows and stories aimed at a female audience, since we're supposedly the ones who are only in it for the smootchies; most of the relationships in male-targeted media meet the same end, which seems weird to me. After all, once you're together, you have access to regular sex, and you don't have to do all that sentimental "building a relationship" stuff. Maintaining, yes, but building, no. And yet only the sitcom couples who were married before the show started (or got married in the premiere) seem to stay together.
As Dave Davenport once said: "Where do I want to be in five years? Sleeping with a homicidal maniac, or sleeping with a homicidal maniac who occasionally cleans my toilet?"
I find this trend deeply upsetting. I mean, maybe this is my romantic streak showing through, but I like to believe that once I have invested in the relationships of fictional people—fictional people who were, in many cases, willing to spend years flirting and falling and feinting toward finally hooking up—that maybe I'll get some of the payoff. Not three episodes or one volume of the writers realizing they never figured out how this would work beyond "sweaty kitchen sex and SCENE" and breaking them up in a prefunctory, often utterly silly way. You sold me this relationship! It was for sale, and I wanted it, and now that I have it, I don't want a factory recall! By the time most fictional couples hook up, I am sick and fucking tired of the longing looks, the swooning sighs, the silly banter, all of it. I want them to get it out of their systems, settle down, and get on to telling whatever larger story they used to lure me in in the first place. What I don't want is another five seasons of sighing and swooning. What I don't want is the sort of breakup that could be resolved with thirty seconds of conversation and maybe a flowchart.
Romantic tension is awesome. But seriously, people! So is having a lasting romantic relationship! Where can I find the Nick and Nora Charles of today? No, really, where?
It doesn't help that, again thanks to the fairy tale structure, things get rushed like whoa as they try to give the media consumers "what they want." And yeah, we're a filthy-minded lot; we want Character A and Character B naked and sweaty five minutes after they walk in. But we're willing to wait if you'll promise to give us something that lasts for more than fifteen minutes. Promise me four seasons of Veronica and Logan making out after every successful case, and you will have my full attention for the four seasons it takes to get me there.
This is why I take my time. This is why I let my characters figure out what they want. Because I refuse to take it away from them just because I never bothered to consider the long-term consequences. And no, I don't believe that romance only belongs in the happy ever after.
I want my Nick and Nora.
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April 15 2010, 22:14:16 UTC 7 years ago
You might really like Lily and Marshall in How I Met Your Mother. When the sitcom begins they have just gotten engaged after a nine or ten year relationship or something. And they're really really great together! They have a very entertaining rapport, shared quirks, etc. Also they don't buy into the "No Sex After Marriage" rule of sitcom couples.
April 15 2010, 22:57:29 UTC 7 years ago
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April 15 2010, 22:38:01 UTC 7 years ago
As to why a lot of media is reluctant to keep its couples together...well, I think too many recall that Moonlighting tanked after the leads hooked up, mostly because the writers had no idea how to write the couple. A combination of the writers not getting better at it, and people not realizing that the writing was the problem and blaming it on the relationship, has a lot of media creation refusing to take the plunge. (The only reason I know this is that I'm on TV Tropes, and I specifically did not link to it here.)
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April 15 2010, 22:25:38 UTC 7 years ago
This has always felt to me as partly an in-your-face and quite cynical rejection of romantic love, as well as a lack of authorial ingenuity. They can't think of anything else to do. It also often reveals a lack of trust in the consumers' sophistication -- the people responsible assume that the public WANTS melodramatic crap and wouldn't be happy with something that explored the complexity of established relationships.
There are a number of tracks one sees in media that operate unimaginatively: the only things to usually happen to the main character's girlfriend are getting killed, getting pregnant, cheating on him, or marrying him and THEN cheating on him, getting killed, getting pregnant, etc. The script that says that there is no happily ever after is one of these, and I find it infuriating. It gets worse the longer the characters are together in consumer time (tv series vs. movie, book vs comic book series).
I don't mind relationships that are under pressure, I find that entertaining. I even like love triangles or pyramids or whatever, I like anguish and emotional suffering and so forth. But it can be taken way too far. Smallville, I am looking at you; also, perhaps the most egregious offender I've ever seen: Dark Angel; when your characters finally overcome all the odds to have just ONE NIGHT where they can touch each other, and that is interrupted by a GOO-SPITTING PENIS MONSTER, you have jumped the shark. I am still angry about that episode, and the only reason I kept watching the series was because I am stubborn and I have a massive crush on Michael Weatherly.
When you almost never see characters together for the long haul, it's just so disappointing. With successful characterization, you hit a point where you have a whole lot invested in the characters, and if the writers won't quit fucking with them when it's very obviously being done only for the sake of fucking with them, then it's often easier to just disconnect and quit watching/reading/caring.
One of the enduringly wonderful things about J D Robb/Nora Roberts' Eve Dallas series (yes, I read them and love them, and offer no apologies) is the rock solid relationship between the two leads. She puts them through a lot, but there just isn't any question that it won't work, or isn't working. It's lovely.
And contrary to the justification I have seen most often used to excuse pointless relationship meddling, I'm 20+ books in and I AM NOT BORED OF THIS COUPLE.
IT CAN BE DONE.
And, as a final word, I would like to say that Mr. and Mrs. Smith gives me such joy every time I see it. From first viewing, it felt to me like a middle finger raised against exactly this kind of crap.
April 16 2010, 01:42:27 UTC 7 years ago
And J. D. Robb was my recommendation as well. It's a series I buy in hardcover.
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April 15 2010, 22:26:33 UTC 7 years ago
Another vote for Bujold for Married Couples (at least, in her SF) Who Stay That Way And Still Do Stuff.
*beth makes a note for her own as-yet-unpublished characters*
April 19 2010, 19:39:10 UTC 7 years ago
April 15 2010, 22:37:51 UTC 7 years ago
I think I am fortunate that I was in high school with Hart to Hart, aka, the 80s Nick & Nora ;)
April 15 2010, 22:59:16 UTC 7 years ago
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April 15 2010, 22:41:03 UTC 7 years ago
Yes, Yes, YES!!! Thank you! And even an 'AMEN!' for good measure.
April 19 2010, 19:42:35 UTC 7 years ago
April 15 2010, 22:43:34 UTC 7 years ago
In the right hands - Mark Waid's - we have Reed and Sue. There are few happy couples in the DC Universe, but we never expect that to last these days. And Bill Willingham seems to believe in telling a story after "happily ever after" with Snow and Bigby and with Beauty and the Beast, among others.
And I am probably alone in this, but I would watch a Mickey and Martha Dr Who spinoff, since it seemed like their adventure was just beginning, too.
April 16 2010, 12:03:07 UTC 7 years ago
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April 15 2010, 22:47:25 UTC 7 years ago
Now he is letting me play and write in a world he created in his early teens.
Yep. I got the best of both, so will my characters. No one may ever read them, but they will have trials, tribulations and togetherness. Pretty interesting if I can pull it off for people who live about 5000 earth years.
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April 15 2010, 22:49:22 UTC 7 years ago
Because REALLY nifty.
I'm in a relationship that has lasted nearly 25 years. We are not super-heroic sorts and in that time we have survived-
Long-distance relationship, several cross city moves, three cross-country moves, serious injury (his), serious injury (mine), months of PT (both at different times), planning and staging several 50+ guest weekend house parties, planning and staging our own wedding, unemployment, underemployment, various deaths in our family and circle of friends from old age, illness and (in one tragic instance) murder. He got held up at work once. There was the near-miss with the tornado. We had friends move in for a year during her treatment for cancer.
Along with the everyday stuff of who forgot to walk the puppy and where the hell did the screwdruiver get put and why won't this damned printer print?
I know it can be done. I don't know why it is so rarely done by fictional people.
April 15 2010, 23:53:28 UTC 7 years ago
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April 15 2010, 23:23:42 UTC 7 years ago
Or maybe I'm dreaming and it never works like that in real life either...
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April 15 2010, 23:36:44 UTC 7 years ago
I have some hope that Castle will get the chance to put the lie to the so-called Moonlighting curse (although in point of fact, if memory serves, both Remington Steele and Scarecrow & Mrs. King got their happily-ever-afters in one form or another). The Castle writers have done so much else right that I think there's room for optimism there. (Although they're not infallible; I seem to be among the few who thought that the script involving Beckett's mother's assassin was a nearly unmitigated disaster.)
April 19 2010, 20:34:05 UTC 7 years ago
I share your hopes as regards Castle.
April 15 2010, 23:42:07 UTC 7 years ago
Other than that, I think you've pointed out a huge gaping hole in the fictionverse that some author can take advantage of.
April 16 2010, 00:48:21 UTC 7 years ago
Of course, she hasn't been publishing fantasy/SF lately much at all...
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If anything ever ACTUALLY falls out when I do that, I'll let you know.
April 19 2010, 20:42:53 UTC 7 years ago
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The Julie part...well, there's a reason why I generally report that half of it was a really good movie.
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April 16 2010, 00:44:25 UTC 7 years ago
Love you for this section about the flowchart especially. This same trend has been driving _me_ bananas (and its corollary, that developing relationships are put on hold forever, esp. in TV shows, to keep from hitting this particular wall). Honestly, I've hit the point where "story with functional relationship" is _more_ interesting than "story with developing relationship" to me, just because of this issue.
Functional does not have to mean "devoid of issues." But make them _interesting_ issues, at least, and solvable ones.
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April 16 2010, 01:14:11 UTC 7 years ago
Like two of my favorite "I can watch these movies over and over" Grease and Dirty Dancing. Because none of those characters from opposite sides of the track will have any troubles along the way, nope.
I have no idea what the hell happened in last week's Bones episode, I think it was so weird I have blocked my brain from understanding it.
Most tv/movie/etc relationships are so dissatisfying.
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April 19 2010, 20:55:01 UTC 7 years ago
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April 16 2010, 03:26:59 UTC 7 years ago
This is precisely why one of my projects has a simple mission statement: infidelity is not a factor. Let's see how these relationships work without that crutch.
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