quixoticSo I'm doing the web content for MiraGrant.com. Those of you familiar with my main website may have noticed that I have multiple bios, some of them deeply, deeply silly in nature, posted on the site. Since Mira doesn't have quite the history I do, and I haven't had the chance to solicit bios for her from my friends, I need something to guarantee the depth of content to which my readers have become accustomed (OCD cat is OCD). So!
You know Chuck Norris?
That.
I'm looking for UTTERLY INSANE statements about Mira Grant. Things like "Mira Grant isn't afraid of the thing under your bed. Mira Grant is the thing under your bed." Or "Mira Grant goes down to the quarry any time she damn well wants to."
Leave your suggestions as comments on this post. I will collect the best (and weirdest) for posting on Mira's website, because I have no hobbies that don't involve utter insanity. There will be prizes! I don't know what those prizes will be, but they, too, will probably be a little odd. (Sadly, I can't promise a copy of Feed until I've done some local accounting, but there will be something.)
Come on. You know you want to.
March 23 2010, 18:06:07 UTC 7 years ago
Her favourite food is US President's brains ... very rare, and no nutritional value
Mira Grant may contain nuts, soya, the universe, time, space and riboflavin
Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, Mira Grant stole it
What evil lurks in the hearts of men? Mira Grant has a knife and isn't afraid to go looking!
Wise men say, only fools rush in ... but Mira Grant walks in nonchalantly
If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs, you've not met Mira Grant yet
When Mira Grant appeared in front of the Vulcan council, they burst into tears and told her how much they loved her
Mira Grant has the editing pencil that adds "for you" to "Today is a good day to die"
Mira Grant's Desert Eagle 44automag is a 48.4automag as they gave her 10% extra free.
There were only two samurai left after they met Mira Grant, and *they* were dressed as schoolgirls!
The light at the end of the tunnel is the flamethrower of Mira Grant
Saddam Hussein, Hitler and Mira Grant are in the room with you, and your gun has only one bullet, who do you shoot? Yourself, duh!
Mira Grant pulls hats out of rabbits
There isn't a prison, bank vault or donut shop that Mira Grant can't break into.
Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and George Clooney offered to sleep with each other, just for a momentary glance from Mira Grant.
Time slows down in a gravity well but it runs away when Mira Grant is around.
They measure "amazing" in femto-Miras
When Mira Grant tells a knock-knock joke, no one has to ask "who's there?"
The Hubble Telescope had to be taken offline when it found a star cluster that spelled out "Mira Grant".
Mira Grant uses the Large Hadron Collider to stir her coffee.
Global Climate Change happened the first time Mira Grant went swimming in the ocean
Why don't polar bears eat penguins? Mira told them not to.
There were 48 chromosomes until Mira Grant showed up ...
Mira Grant can put i after e whenever she wants
Mira Grant has an all access pass to the restricted stacks in the Library of Alexandria (and not just the Falls Church branch)
March 23 2010, 18:12:12 UTC 7 years ago
Most people know to dive for cover at that point.