Mira Grant knows where you live.: seanan

Mira Grant knows where you live.

It's time for today's TOTALLY SILLY CONTEST!

So I'm doing the web content for MiraGrant.com. Those of you familiar with my main website may have noticed that I have multiple bios, some of them deeply, deeply silly in nature, posted on the site. Since Mira doesn't have quite the history I do, and I haven't had the chance to solicit bios for her from my friends, I need something to guarantee the depth of content to which my readers have become accustomed (OCD cat is OCD). So!

You know Chuck Norris?

That.

I'm looking for UTTERLY INSANE statements about Mira Grant. Things like "Mira Grant isn't afraid of the thing under your bed. Mira Grant is the thing under your bed." Or "Mira Grant goes down to the quarry any time she damn well wants to."

Leave your suggestions as comments on this post. I will collect the best (and weirdest) for posting on Mira's website, because I have no hobbies that don't involve utter insanity. There will be prizes! I don't know what those prizes will be, but they, too, will probably be a little odd. (Sadly, I can't promise a copy of Feed until I've done some local accounting, but there will be something.)

Come on. You know you want to.

kittikins

March 24 2010, 02:26:17 UTC 7 years ago

New comment

"Hi my name is Mira, the rumors are true."

Mira Grant is always fun and fabulous. What other woman can coordinate stiletto boots with a flame thrower?

You know why Smurfette doesn't date? Mira broke her heart.

Mira Grant owns an island lair outside of Aruba where she shaves kittens for fun, has an army of pool boys, and snorkels with a Great White Shark named Ned.

hamletkitty

March 24 2010, 03:12:04 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant thinks MRSA is quaint.

Mira Grant keeps a Komodo Dragon in the back yard.

Mira Grant finishes land wars in Asia.

Vizzini learned all his tricks from Mira Grant.

Mira Grant uses a Gatling Gun to paint walls.

sheistheweather

March 24 2010, 15:33:22 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant thinks MRSA is quaint.

BAHAHAHAHAHA. :D

silvertwi

March 24 2010, 03:28:25 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant IS the Evil Overlord.

Mira Grant doesn't need the Evil Overlord list. She IS the Evil Overlord list.

Mira Grant is so fearsome that all humans within a six-foot radius disintegrate into zombies, deadly viruses, and Australian wildlife.

Every time antibiotics stop the bacterial infection, Mira Grant eats a puppy.

Mira Grant INVENTED the Australian wildlife.

It's a monster! It's a zombie! It's...Mira Grant?

fullcontactmuse

March 24 2010, 05:28:36 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant breeds venonmous velociraptors to further her goals of world domination.

lysythe

March 24 2010, 05:57:41 UTC 7 years ago

For her morning jog, Mira Grant does the entire Appalachian Trail. Twice. Before breakfast.

Mosquitoes don't bite Mira Grant. Mira Grant bites mosquitoes. (And snakes. And piranha. And a whole host of other things.)

Mira Grant has a chapter all to herself in the Necronomicon.

Mira Grant painted the Aussie desert red. By herself.

Mira Grant believes at least a hundred impossible things before breakfast.

Mira Grant sleeps for one minute and has enough energy for 48 hours.

quettalinde

March 24 2010, 06:26:08 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant made the Luidaeg cry.

The Luidaeg calls Mira Grant "sister".

March 24 2010, 15:34:34 UTC 7 years ago

Awesome. :D

palmer_kun

March 24 2010, 06:51:14 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant has outlived all her children, including Ulysses S. Grant.

Archibald Alexander Leach changed his name in homage to Mira.

There is a genetic engineering scholarship known as the Mira Grant.

the_s_guy

March 24 2010, 07:27:22 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant can wish you into the cornfield.

kitrona

March 24 2010, 08:07:08 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant's prettiest whistles WILL wrestle the thistles undone.

closer2myself

March 24 2010, 08:25:55 UTC 7 years ago Edited: March 24 2010, 08:26:22 UTC

Mira Grant is so evil, they named the demon in The Exorcist after her and the film got banned until they changed it.
Mira Grant is so evil, when Dean and Sam Winchester came looking for her, Sam cried and Dean gave her the keys to the Impala.
Mira Grant is so evil, she made Osama bin Laden hide in the cave.
Mira Grant is so evil, the Mayans predicted her ending the earth in 2012.
Mira Grant is so evil, he radiates a Kryptonite aura and Superman is afraid of her.
Mira Grant is so evil, when she set foot in America it became a British colony again.
Mira Grant is so evil, she is her own D&D alignment. After "Chaotic Evil", there's "Mira Grant".

bluesmancd

March 24 2010, 10:22:13 UTC 7 years ago

The Hulk would not like Mira Grant when she's angry.
Mira Grant stops in bat country.
Sorry Gandalph, Mira Grant shall pass.
You're gonna need a bigger night light.
The Illuminati are divided in either believing MIra Grant controls them, or that she's just a conspiracy theory.

hsifyppah

March 25 2010, 07:12:11 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant stops in bat country.

Bwah.

March 25 2010, 08:07:42 UTC 7 years ago

"Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to drive." I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.

sfogarty

March 24 2010, 15:53:32 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant once went down to the water's edge. She did something.

March 24 2010, 15:58:40 UTC 7 years ago

Some turtles wonder if it is Mira Grant all the way down.

Mira Grant was once kidnapped and forced to become the hyena pope. Unfortunately, her progressive policies proved unpopular and they excommunicated her.

7 years ago

tikiera

March 24 2010, 16:58:31 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant makes the hurricanes overblowing and rivers overflowing.

Miran Grant is the voice of rage and ruin.

March 24 2010, 17:02:10 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant is the voice of rage and ruin.

I really like this one.

sweetmusic_27

March 24 2010, 22:29:01 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant lives close to the Pacific Ocean because that's where her underwater apocolab is.

Mira Grant only deals in death - but she'll give you a great bargain.

The seven golden bowls in Revelation contain the wrath of Mira Grant.

Mira Grant knows what you did last summer, because she's the one who told you to do it

Mira Grant has two pets, Fenrir and Jörmungandr.

Citizens, rejoice! Mira Grant stands on high, playing track three.

Mira Grant is responsible for most of the deaths in the world, but she's so modest she lets cardiovascular disease and cancer take the credit instead.

When she finally tires of death and destruction, Mira Grant will open one of her six mouths and sing the song that ends the world.

Mira Grant didn't beat the devil at fiddling, she beat the devil with her fiddle. (Don't worry, he broke before it did.)

It's never lupus, because it's always Mira Grant.

biguglymandoll

March 25 2010, 02:41:44 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant went to a misanthropes anonymous meeting and they LOVED her!

March 25 2010, 02:49:22 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant makes omelettes - with Phoenix eggs.

idancewithlife

March 25 2010, 03:48:58 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant is Abby Sciuto's invisible friend.

it_aint_easy

March 25 2010, 04:14:10 UTC 7 years ago

#1:
Q: How many Mira Grants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Light?!? Aaaaa!! It buuuuuuuuuuurns!!!!

#2:
Mira Grant rocks your world. And when the bough breaks...

#3:
Mira Grant: Proud Sponsor of the 2010 "Zombies! Aaaah! Get away!" Games.

March 25 2010, 21:08:25 UTC 7 years ago

Look up Mira Grant in the dictionary, and it will say "Free Flowing Evil"

The only thing that matters to Mira Grant is gray matter.
(Alternately, The only color that matters to Mira Grant is gray.)

If everyone else around you is losing their head, Mira Grant must not have noticed you yet.

And on the seventh day, Mira Grant brought forth zombies.

Sylar studied under Mira Grant.

You know those little floating spots you sometimes see in your eyes? Those are Mira Grant, watching you.

Mira Grant is the real cause behind Fan Death.

Do not ask Mira Grant when she will rise, for she was the first to rise.

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