Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: quixotic
  • Music: Rob Zombie, "Living Dead Girl."

Mira Grant knows where you live.

It's time for today's TOTALLY SILLY CONTEST!

So I'm doing the web content for MiraGrant.com. Those of you familiar with my main website may have noticed that I have multiple bios, some of them deeply, deeply silly in nature, posted on the site. Since Mira doesn't have quite the history I do, and I haven't had the chance to solicit bios for her from my friends, I need something to guarantee the depth of content to which my readers have become accustomed (OCD cat is OCD). So!

You know Chuck Norris?

That.

I'm looking for UTTERLY INSANE statements about Mira Grant. Things like "Mira Grant isn't afraid of the thing under your bed. Mira Grant is the thing under your bed." Or "Mira Grant goes down to the quarry any time she damn well wants to."

Leave your suggestions as comments on this post. I will collect the best (and weirdest) for posting on Mira's website, because I have no hobbies that don't involve utter insanity. There will be prizes! I don't know what those prizes will be, but they, too, will probably be a little odd. (Sadly, I can't promise a copy of Feed until I've done some local accounting, but there will be something.)

Come on. You know you want to.
Tags: contest, horror movies, mira grant, requesting things, silliness, website updates, zombies
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dornbeast

March 23 2010, 18:20:35 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant does not know how the world is going to end; she's still deciding.

vixyish

March 23 2010, 18:26:59 UTC 7 years ago

Heeheeheeheehee

spectralbovine

7 years ago

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dornbeast

7 years ago

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spectralbovine

7 years ago

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dornbeast

7 years ago

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ladymondegreen

March 23 2010, 18:23:32 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant is the girl your mother warned you about. She's sweet as honey made from graveyard flowers, but don't cross her, or she'll call up Jack Skellington, and he'll carve you like a pumpkin, while she draws the whole thing.

bercilakslady

March 23 2010, 18:23:44 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant's ideas come from the same place lost socks go to.

snowcoma

March 23 2010, 18:32:55 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant was the other driver on Dead Man's Hill!

kippurbird

March 23 2010, 18:34:38 UTC 7 years ago Edited:  March 23 2010, 18:38:04 UTC

Mira Grant knew how Lost would end before the end of the first season.

Mira Grant hears the Drums.

Mira Grant is immortal, Death is too afraid to come for her.

The turtle moves, because Mira Grant wants it to.

Mira Grant was on the grassy knoll.

Everything Teddy Roosevelt learned, he learned from Mira Grant.

Mira Grant has a bad ass and is a bad ass

Mira Grant never has to pay late fees.

The IRS pays Mira Grant's taxes and always gives her a generous refund.

Mira Grant knows where you live. She just doesn't care.

Mira Grant is the Smoke Monster.

Mira Grant has a larger section in the Library than the Doctor does.

Mira Grant is the Queen of Cats.

Mira Grant owns Greenland.

Mira Grant has her own cult. Everyone who ever existed and will exist belongs to it.

Mira Grant can haz cheezeburger.

vixyish

March 23 2010, 18:49:34 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant does not use spellcheck. Her typos fix themselves, apologize, and commit seppuku to expiate their shame.
Mira Grant leaves readers hanging from actual cliffs.

idancewithlife

March 23 2010, 19:03:06 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant sprung fully formed from the outback in Australia.
Mira Grant wants to be Vel's mentor.
Mira Grant is planning to serve Tom Cruz broiled as hors d'oeuvres at her next party.
Mira Grant is Candy Smith's real mother.
Mira Grant is the bad fairy you damn well better invite to the christening.

redrob

March 23 2010, 19:08:52 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant has visited all 8 continents (including Atlantis), and has a collection of poisonous reptiles from each one living in her house.

Mira Grant consulted on the Hubble Space Telescope, but sadly NASA rejected her suggestion to include a shrine to the Great Turtle.

Mira Grant owns one of the world's foremost spider ranches.

antimony_medusa

March 23 2010, 19:13:48 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant is gracious.

Mira Grant does not kill her clients, even if they ask nicely.

Mira Grant plays with the music of the spheres.

Mira Grant suggests if you're worth saving you'll save yourself.

Mira Grant invented the internet. (It's better not to ask why...)

Mira Grant does not sleep. She watches.

Mira Grant can make bacon a food group.

Mira Grant is illegal in five countries and a small town in nebraska.

Mira Grant does not employ a ninja army.

Mira Grant does not write with her toes.

Mira Grant knows how to use a chainsaw. If you know what I mean.

Mira Grant tore down this wall.

Mira Grant tore down the fifth wall.

Mira Grant tore down the fifth wall and inserted the fourth column.

Mira Grant came from away.

Mira Grant has enough middle fingers to show you how she's feeling.

Mira Grant can track your phone without it's battery.

Mira Grant is not edible.

Mira Grant probably has citizenship rights.

Mira Grant wears red- don't ask why.

argonel

March 23 2010, 19:17:21 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant wears Jewelery made from crystallized pathogens. You probably shouldn't touch her smallpox ring despite its stunning brilliance.

quettalinde

March 23 2010, 19:24:10 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant eats zombies for breakfast.

We don't have to worry about alien invasions. Mira Grant personally welcomed them before we were born.

Mira Grant IS life on other planets.

Just because you cannot see Mira Grant does not mean she isn't there.

Co-eds listen to Mira Grant.

Mira Grant bought a remote Pacific island so her army of megalodons could go unnoticed until it was too late.

Mira Grant concocted bubonic plague and released it in medieval Europe—for fun.

Mira Grant breathes fire.

Mira Grant rebuilt the Death Star and has it trained on Earth.

jayene

March 23 2010, 19:24:50 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant doesn't sit down to type, she glares at the page and the story appears. (Don't we wish.)

evaleastaristev

March 23 2010, 19:28:53 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant hunts Serial Killers. She finds they taste the best.

evaleastaristev

March 23 2010, 19:36:29 UTC 7 years ago

The NSA has tried to track Mira Grant's movements, but stopped when the Satalites broke every time they looked for her.

argonel

March 23 2010, 19:32:04 UTC 7 years ago

Only cats are able to perceive people who disparaged Mira Grant.

brownkitty

March 23 2010, 19:33:49 UTC 7 years ago

Robot overlords serve Mira Grant.

Mira Grant is the evil twin.

Mira Grant thinks the recipes in the Anarchist's Cookbook could use some more pepper.

Mira Grant calls zombies up for her morning workouts.

Mira Grant holds us all within her mind.

Mira Grant uses weapons because she's trying to make zombie combat more challenging. If she simply uses the force of her personality, it's over too quickly and she gets bored.

Mira Grant can ski through a revolving door, dribble a football, and lick her elbows.

Mira Grant put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop, the ram in the ramma-lamma-ding-dong, and the dip in the refrigerator. What, you think dip stays good forever?

naurwen

March 23 2010, 19:35:03 UTC 7 years ago

Alone the mention of Mira Grant makes Freddie Krüger cry.
Mira Grant makes you think that her tricking on Halloween is a treat.
Mira Grant designed a zombie wear collection.
Mira Grant is secretly called *mommy* by Darth Vader.
Mira Grant laughed when watching *Jurassic Park* - and petted her T-Rex' head.

brownkitty

March 23 2010, 19:35:50 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant does not need to give clues. Mira Grant is a clue, the only one you'll ever need.

idancewithlife

March 23 2010, 19:37:56 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant was a little more than they expected.

quettalinde

March 23 2010, 19:39:02 UTC 7 years ago

The next element to be named will be Grantium.

Mira Grant can walk through walls, but never gets the chance. The walls move out of her way too quickly.

Mira Grant has a lending library of haunted video tapes.

Spielberg, King, and Romero ask Mira Grant for story advice.

spectralbovine

March 23 2010, 19:41:33 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant can walk through walls, but never gets the chance. The walls move out of her way too quickly.
Well played.

quettalinde

7 years ago

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markbernstein

March 23 2010, 19:40:49 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant invented the crossroads, and thereby the blues.

Mira Grant once resurrected a man just to watch him live.

Mira Grant is Out There.

Sheldon thinks Mira Grant is cooler than Leonard Nimoy.

peachtess

March 23 2010, 19:47:26 UTC 7 years ago

Wow so many already. Here's mine.

You do not read a Mira Grant novel. The Mira Grant novel reads you.

Before Mira Grant's birth the Great Pumpkin sent a herald to proclaim her birth. Then after her birth while sleeping in a box of Stephan King novels Mira Grant was visited by three wise pumpkins.

Mira Grant doesn't crave her thanksgiving turkey with knives. She craftily craves it up with a chainsaw.

bayushi

March 23 2010, 19:53:19 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant is researching obsessively to combine her major loves: research into strange diseases, and dinosaurs. She hopes to one day be able to create an airborne disease that will turn selected people into dinosaurs, which she will rule as Queen.

mskauri

March 23 2010, 19:54:46 UTC 7 years ago

Yes, Mira Grant WOULD like fries with that.

Since the demise of NBC's "Must See TV," Mira Grant plays jai alai every Thursday evening.

Mira Grant's favorite food is YOU.

Mira Grant is terrifying, but wait until she introduces you to her "Evil Twin."

Just for fun, Mira Grant moonlights as Dr. Phil.

Mira Grant's philosophy on her own novels: Read 'em--OR WEEP

scholarinexile

March 23 2010, 20:05:15 UTC 7 years ago

Mira Grant once challenged Death to a game for her soul. He cheated and lost anyway.

Mira Grant is behind you. Right now. Don't look.

Mira Grant led Orpheus out of Hades. She looked back the whole time.

sheistheweather

March 23 2010, 20:22:26 UTC 7 years ago

I totally looked...she's invisible, too! D:

maniakes

March 23 2010, 20:11:54 UTC 7 years ago

Bubonic fever didn't cause the Black Death. Mira Grant did.
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