ASL, fictional people influence my wardrobe, ow my brain.: seanan

ASL, fictional people influence my wardrobe, ow my brain.

I have all these things I want to talk about. Like, my little running junk file contains about three dozen links, and a long list of blog topics (written in my customary all-caps shorthand, so the word "fuck" is pretty heavily represented—sometimes I'm a Kevin Smith movie). Instead, I spent much of my morning mastering the phrase "working for our robot overlords—did I say 'overlords'? I meant 'protectors,'" in American Sign Language. This is a highly useful phrase, and one which I am currently using quite a lot. Sure, I'm using it quite a lot because I just learned how to say it, but the theory is sound.

Other things I can say in ASL:

* The turtle couldn't/can't help you/me/us.
* I will kill you with a chainsaw now.
* I have a parasite inside my brain.
* Ninja!
* Giant metal Santa Claus.
* The salad of infinite despair.
* Moose lobotomy time. Call the moose lobotomist.
* Die in a fire.
* The Black Death.
* Octopus fellatio.
* Science/mad science.
* I want to eat your brain.
* ZOMBIE.

Naturally, I have learned these specific phrases because they are extremely useful in my daily life, and not because I enjoy signing "the salad of infinite despair" at people when they annoy me. Honest.

My current adventures in ASL are strongly fueled by the fact that I have essentially managed to freezer burn my brain as I race through Deadline like I'm being pursued by a pack of rabid weasels. The book is about 15,000 words from over, and I have a very solid idea of what all those words need to be; it's just a matter of getting them onto the page. I alternate between wanting to snarl at anything that keeps me from writing, and wanting to keep myself from writing, since soon, I won't have a book anymore. There will be other books. There will be edits and revisions on this book. But it won't be the same, and it will never be the same again, and after this, I only get to spend one more book in this universe. That's going to hurt. In the course of three volumes, I'll have essentially written four and a half Toby books-worth of story (these are big-ass books), and that makes the Masons and their companions really well-established denizens of my head. I'm going to wind up writing the parasite trilogy just to get myself through the grieving stage. This is, by the way, why I am drowning in series.

(I have friends who only write in single volumes. Bam bam bam, book book book, done. They view my addiction to series with horrified confusion, and some of them have commented that they wish they could do that. In the spirit of the seaweed always being greener in somebody else's lake, I envy the people who can write a book and be done. The closest I get to writing a book and being done is plotting to give certain characters only one POV volume in the InCryptid series. My brain is wired oddly.)

One of my "waiting in the wings" protagonists is a woman named Alice Price-Healy (Verity's grandmother), whose tastes run to camouflage pants, fabrics that can be easily treated for bloodstains, and lots and lots of weapons. She's a hopeless romantic, having spent the last thirty or so years spelunking through the various dimensions surrounding her own as she tries to find her missing husband. Who is probably getting punched in the face if and when she finally finds him, since she's been scared to death for decades now. Anyway, my darling

fireriven pointed me to something on Etsy, and in browsing the seller's other items, I found a red glass heart pendant with an old-fashioned six-shooter charm dangling from it. I stared. My inner Alice announced her covetousness.

I bought the necklace. It arrived in yesterday's mail, and it is awesome. Best of all, when someone asked me where I found it and what made me buy it (since I don't buy much jewelry that isn't from

chimera_fancies), I was able to honestly reply "Oh, the one of the people who lives inside my head told me to." Sowing confusion is fun!

Seriously, though, I think my brain is bruised. I'm going to go home tonight and knock out another 3,000 words or so before watching Leverage, and tomorrow night, I'll go home and knock out 5,000 to 8,000, since I have no bedtime on Fridays. And after I do this a few more times, the book will be over, and I'll need to start occupying my time with something else. Like The Brightest Fell, and starting Blackout, and petting the cats. Oh, and learning how to say "behold, for now I wear the human pants" in ASL.

You know. The important things.

martianmooncrab

February 11 2010, 16:16:32 UTC 7 years ago

New comment

Other things I can say in ASL:

..hot and sweaty monkey sex?

seanan_mcguire

February 11 2010, 18:33:29 UTC 7 years ago

Excellent! Good for you.

7 years ago

deakat

February 11 2010, 16:39:26 UTC 7 years ago

I would like to propose that you (or a substitute teacher) lead a workshop at a future convention (that I'm attending) where we can be taught these useful ASL phrases.

huskiebear

February 11 2010, 17:27:39 UTC 7 years ago

I second this emotion!

wendyzski

judifilksign

lit_mischief

February 11 2010, 16:40:44 UTC 7 years ago

You and my kid can compare notes on how to sign some of these things. Still your fault.

Last night she informed me that she was warming up the neurotoxin, I'm just saying.

February 11 2010, 18:34:23 UTC 7 years ago

You shouldn't have let me near her during her formative years. I refuse to carry this blame alone.

ladymondegreen

February 11 2010, 17:13:40 UTC 7 years ago

Some things I have learned to say in ASL since I last saw you:

Giant Alien Plant Eats Dentist
Pirate
FAIL! (I like this one, because it's simple) I learned it from a friend of a friend at a wedding.

I'm pleased that you found an Alice necklace!

Love from the east coast.

beable

February 11 2010, 18:15:29 UTC 7 years ago

It was specifically "you fail", although it was really indeed throwing the fail sign at the person.

cindygerb

February 11 2010, 17:16:51 UTC 7 years ago

I need to be careful about eating salads while reading your posts.

February 11 2010, 18:35:25 UTC 7 years ago

Probably true.

deire

February 11 2010, 17:48:28 UTC 7 years ago

1. Have you named the parasite yet?
2. It is never too early nor too late for ninjas.
3. Octopus fellatio sounds like something likely to end in amputation by beak.

February 11 2010, 18:35:43 UTC 7 years ago

1. No.
2. True.
3. Depends on who's doing who.

February 11 2010, 17:50:03 UTC 7 years ago

Also, I have made a deaf friend do a choke spit take by confusing one sign with another and ending up saying "blow job" in interesting context. I am NOT fluent. I try, but I am not.

February 11 2010, 18:37:26 UTC 7 years ago

Rock on team you!

February 11 2010, 18:14:23 UTC 7 years ago

Ladymondegreen showed me a few of these signs, and taught me "giant alien plant eats dentist" while she was in Ottawa visiting (and for the wedding). So I went over to another friend who has been studying ASL for a couple of years, and did the giant alien plant one. He laughed, looked confused (his class has not covered the word "alien" - clearly an oversight), and then corrected the dentist sign for us.

He also showed us how to sign Hell's Angels in LSQ, because ASL doesn't have a sign for that.

February 11 2010, 18:38:07 UTC 7 years ago

The sharing of knowledge is awesome.

khasael

February 11 2010, 18:15:49 UTC 7 years ago

I need to learn some of these ASL phrases. The turtle couldn't/can't help you/me/us is top of the list. I love that these phrases are things that will (not could, will) come up in conversation with you. Much love.

February 12 2010, 02:52:57 UTC 7 years ago

If we wind up in the same place, I'll show you how to tell people about the unhelpful turtle.

jennifer_brozek

February 11 2010, 18:32:36 UTC 7 years ago

I seriously considered buying that necklace.

February 12 2010, 02:53:05 UTC 7 years ago

It's AWESOME.

ravenclawed

February 11 2010, 18:48:47 UTC 7 years ago

the seaweed always being greener in somebody else's lake

Love the Little Mermaid reference. :-)

These days, I prefer to read series. I like getting to know characters over the stretch of several books. And, it means I don't have to go through the "this author is new to me, do I risk a prose allergy?" dilemma (thank you for that phrase, btw) with every book I pick up.

Sadly, I don't know any ASL, but I can understand buying stuff for the characters in your head since I've done it a few times.

February 12 2010, 02:53:37 UTC 7 years ago

I adore series, but some of my favorite books are stand-alone, so I try to just take them as they come.

February 11 2010, 20:17:19 UTC 7 years ago

I was in a one-act play that was ASL interpreted as part of the Bailiwick Theatre Director's Festival.

It was set on a colony ship where the hibernating colonists inhabited robot avatars in turn for necessary maintenance. Parts of it were VERY heavy on the technobabble. I played the robot crew chief and had a LOT of exposition.

One speech included "system failure caused random temperature fluctuations resulting in severe osmotic shock". We actually asked the interpreter to show us what she was doing for that part.

She signed "The machine is broken".

February 12 2010, 03:07:24 UTC 7 years ago

Meet me at Marcon, and I'll show you how that phrase is *really* signed.

coyotegoth

February 11 2010, 20:24:09 UTC 7 years ago

I wouldn't have been surprised if The Salad of Infinite Despair had been the next next Hitchhiker's book, following The Salmon of Doubt.

emurphy42

February 12 2010, 03:28:55 UTC 7 years ago

I was going to say it sounded like an episode of Doctor Who. Or maybe Doctor Why. Of course, Adams did write for Who, so.

gafferbear

February 11 2010, 21:00:42 UTC 7 years ago

The very first thing I learned in ASL was:

"That's all the sign-language I know."

I find this very helpful.
The most interesting (from the Interpreter's point of view) workshop I ever interpreted was at "Anything For Love" back (at least 11 mumble years) entitled, "The G-spot and the Female Ejaculation". Just imagine.

February 11 2010, 22:40:36 UTC 7 years ago

When I was studying ASL with an eye to becoming an interpreter, one of my friends/instructors encouraged me to learn to swear, because I would have to do so if an interpreting job called for it.

I gave up the idea of becoming an interpreter partly because I found myself unable to afford to continue my schooling, but it was really for the best: I could watch hands, but taking in faces and facial expressions for any length of time was almost impossible for me.

cleothyla

February 11 2010, 21:06:28 UTC 7 years ago

I'd love to see the ASL for "ZOMBIE!" Heck, I'd love to see the ASL for all those phrases.

February 12 2010, 03:09:12 UTC 7 years ago

In all seriousness, the ASL for "zombie" is to shamble and act like one. Roll your eyes in your head whilst you do it, and mouth a-gape.

miintikwa

February 11 2010, 21:20:41 UTC 7 years ago

I just pre-ordered A Local Habitation and ordered an MMPB copy of Rosemary and Rue! I'm sorry it took me so long, but it has been a rough winter. :) I'm glad I was able to get both at once, tho! Win for me! :D

February 12 2010, 16:48:29 UTC 7 years ago

Woo-hoo!

And it's okay; I understand from rough winters. :) All shall be well.

tikiera

February 11 2010, 21:58:35 UTC 7 years ago

I am in envy. I can barely remember how to Eternal Flame in sign language, and can finger spell, and a few odd words, but I have forgotten most of it.

I do wish I knew how to sign The turtle couldn't/can't help you/me/us and die in a fire.

February 12 2010, 16:48:50 UTC 7 years ago

If we're ever at the same convention, I'll show you.

gothicsparrow

February 11 2010, 22:28:13 UTC 7 years ago

If I do not wig out and not go to Worldcon, I will have to ask you how to sign 'Moose labotomy time. Call the moose labotomist'. Or just all of those.

I'd love for my characters to be insistent enough to be able to demand I buy something for them. Thouhg if they demanded all the time, the novelty of them being real enough to do so would begin to wear off, I think.

February 12 2010, 16:49:16 UTC 7 years ago

You should come! I will show you fun hand signs and giggle a lot. I'm like a happy human muppet.

kitanzi

February 11 2010, 23:11:26 UTC 7 years ago

Errrr... Alice Price-Healey?? How much of Martin's Passage is being reincarnated in this? (Squee! I love Martin's Passage!)

February 12 2010, 16:50:29 UTC 7 years ago

Enough, she said, evasively.

Sarah Zellaby loves Artie Harrington.

argonel

February 12 2010, 02:26:27 UTC 7 years ago

Do weasels form packs? I happen to know that groups of ferrets are known as businesses, but I don't know if that is common terminology among the other mustelids.

Also is the salad of infinite despair fresh or wilted? Small details can matter some times.

February 12 2010, 16:51:01 UTC 7 years ago

I don't know!

I assume the salad is wilted, unless it is the salad of causing despair, in which case it is fresh and crisp...WITH BLOOD.

sysrae

February 12 2010, 06:23:34 UTC 7 years ago

"Behold, for now I wear the human pants!" = BOOYAH PENNY ARCADE REFERENCE! Viva la webcomics!

February 12 2010, 16:51:17 UTC 7 years ago

One of my favorite quotes ever.

Deleted comment

February 12 2010, 16:51:38 UTC 7 years ago

Among other things, yes. But this series isn't horror, per se, more urban fantasy/paranormal romance.

madtom_o_bedlam

February 12 2010, 20:51:19 UTC 7 years ago

Wow, now I have to learn to sign Robot. I've been studying ASL for 4 years now and there are parts of some of those phrases I don't know how to sign yet. Sigh.... Judi would know. She knows everything...or at least is fun to watch.

February 15 2010, 18:58:06 UTC 7 years ago

Absolutely true.

Post a new comment
66 comments

Log in

ASL, fictional people influence my wardrobe, ow my brain.

Error