Chainsaws and killers and creatures that slaughter,
Signs that suggest you stay out of the water.
Killer bees bred to have flesh-eating stings.
These are a few of my favorite things.

Rust colored padlocks and barbed wire fences,
Horrible things tearing down your defenses.
Black bats that fly with the moon on their wings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Scientists laughing and playing with lightning,
Movies designed to be nasty and frightening.
Martian invaders that swallow prom kings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the sun shines,
When the bird sings,
When they've all gone mad,
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad!

So, remember that discussion with Amy? The one where we spontaneously did all of Little Red Riding Hood as if done by I Can Has Cheezburger? It turns out that some things in this world really do cry out for illustration in more minds than just mine, and talkstowolves -- an enchanting and erudite woman in her own right; I highly recommend attending to her words, and not just because she likes my books -- has kindly filled this sucking void in our existence:

LOLRed: A Cautionary Tale In Three Panels.

Truly, I live in the best of all possible worlds.