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November 21st, 2008

Turkey! Or, how to bake Big Bird.

This is how we cook turkeys in my family. I share because a) I care, and b) apparently, some people have experienced dryness in their breast meat via cooking their turkeys in another fashion, whereas my mother once set a turkey on fire and still had moist breast meat. Despite the, y'know, flames.

You will need:

* A turkey. Duh. If you have no turkey, go away.
* Ginger ale.*
* Olive oil.
* Fresh garlic. I use pre-crushed, because I am lazy. You're welcome to play Alton Brown and crush your own. I won't stop you, but I may laugh at you while I sit back and do my nails.
* Honey.
* Brown sugar.
* Dry spices according to your specific taste. I use a mixture of sage, thyme, and rosemary. One of my cousins uses curry powder. It's all you.
* Salt and pepper.
* Something vegetable to shove into the turkey. More on this in a second.

* A roasting pan of some sort.
* A turkey baster.
* A meat brush.
* Foil.
* A way to get the turkey out of the roasting pan, because that sucker will be hot and heavy.

You will want:

* A turkey thermometer. Sexy, sexy little things that they are.

(*As far as ginger ale goes, I recommend Canada Dry. If your bird is between zero and sixteen pounds, you will need two liters. If your bird is between sixteen and twenty-five pounds, you will need four liters. If your bird is over twenty-five pounds, I am coming to your place for dinner. Add two liters if you are using one of those fancy-ass roasting pans where your turkey is on a rack and getting sort of steamed by the liquid evaporating beneath it, because those suckers use up your basting liquid like nobody's business.)

Let's begin with the bird.Collapse )

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