The Frost-Haired Vixen, by John Zakour.
DAW Books, paperback
352 pages, science fiction comedy detective spoof noir weirdness sexpot Santa
Currently in print

( So what happens when the last private detective on Earth is called upon to save the holiday, contend with a hyper-sexual Santa of the future, and get abused by elves? More, what happens when one-half of an intrepid writing duo goes it alone? Click for details.Collapse )

Kate has a standing rule that I am not allowed to own anything which has appeared on the BBC show Primeval, wherein cute British scientists chase dinosaurs that have emerged into the present day through holes in the fabric of space and time. I think this proves that Kate is mean to me. Everyone else thinks this proves that Kate is a very smart woman who deserves a higher pay grade.

Last week's episode (which we watched last night) featured a saber-toothed tiger rampaging through an amusement park. This made me happy. This made Kate leery of my inevitable demand for one of my own. Finally...

"Can I--"
"No."
"But--"
"No."
"But--"
"Is it on this show? If it's on this show, you can't have it."

I attempted logic:

"They have grass on this show."

I should not attempt to use logic against Kate:

"And that's why you're not allowed to have a lawn."

Kate and her mighty hammer of logic: all that saves the world from dinosaur devastation on a daily basis. You can thank her later. And remember, she does take bribes.

So tomorrow is Saturday. And more, tomorrow is a Saturday where I have no social plans at all (not only a rare occasion, practically an unheard of one). So...

...my mother is coming over to help me get some pictures on the walls (I have a bad back and I'm not allowed to work the hammer), drive me to look at a cat tree, and keep my stepdad from chopping his own leg off with a machete while he's working in my backyard. (We're a very close family. We're also the sort of family that believes flea marketing and gardening with a machete is a great way to spend a weekend. I love my family.)

...I'm finally going to get my new scanner installed and, hopefully, functional. I managed to clear a space for it in the cupboard right next to my workspace, which means I will no longer need to balance my laptop on my hip while trying to scan standing up. That's sort of scary. It also means I need to get back into the habit of inking while I watch television (I've been slipping lately, largely because it's not like I can scan anything).

...I'm planning to hit Late Eclipses of the Sun with an even bigger hammer, in the hopes that I can actually get some of the lumps out of the damned thing. It just did that thing where I realize that chapter sixteen is actually chapter twelve, and all the events I thought I had nailed down suddenly shift around. This has never failed to result in a better book. It's still a headache while it's happening.

...the Science-Fiction Channel is doing an all-day marathon of bad horror. Guess what my sanity check is going to be?

Have a fabulous weekend, all. I'm going to get some sleep before the hectic starts.