The latest cuts are in from my crack squad of machete-wielding flying monkeys (aka, 'the editors), and today, Brooke has decided to take up arms against a sea of modifiers, and by mocking, end them. There are a lot of gems in the latest batch of editor commentary, but these are, without a doubt, my favorites:

* Dear initially and various: you have ten minutes to clear out your desks, and then security will escort you out of the sentence.

* SOMEWHAT. STRUNK AND WHITE ARE HERE. DO NOT STRUGGLE.

* Really, even, and remotely. Please join somewhat in the WISHY WASHY MODIFIER TRUCK for immediate transportation to a pit of quicklime.

* Just because the word "circumlocutions" has "circus" in it doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Remember, ladies and gentlemen, don't use unnecessary -- or, God forbid, wishy-washy -- modifiers, or Brooke will come to your house, and she will end you.

This has been a public service announcement.