pensiveI like lizards. The sight of lizards isn't one of those things that makes me scream and scramble onto my chair. I was also barefoot when the lizard arrived, barefoot when the lizard was helpfully released under my desk, and barefoot when the lizard decided to take its reptilian fury out on the nearest available target, IE, my toes. That made me scream and scramble onto my chair, at least until I could get some damn shoes on.
I glared at the lizard. The lizard glared at me. Alice looked pleased with herself, as I was clearly now distracted from my horrible horrible work. Attempts to get Alice to retrieve the lizard caused her to begin grooming herself. Attempts to retrieve the lizard myself caused the lizard to begin attempting to eat my thumbs. I like my thumbs. I decided the lizard could stay.
At several points during the evening, the lizard attempted to make a break for the door. Every time, Alice calmly picked it up and deposited it back under the desk. I put Lilly under the desk, thinking that perhaps my second cat would be more sensible. The lizard hissed at the cat. The cat ran away. Great Pumpkin preserve me from the bravery of the Siamese.
When I got up yesterday morning, the lizard was still there. When I got home from work yesterday afternoon, the lizard was still there. Around six o'clock last night, Alice walked under the desk, picked up the lizard, and walked away.
I did not pursue.
As I did not find lizard bits strewn around the house this morning, I think Alice put the lizard back where she found it, perhaps congratulating it for a job well done in the "distracting the human" category. That, or the lizard got away, and is even now lurking under a piece of furniture somewhere in my house, waiting for me to take off my shoes.
Visitors, beware, and guard your toes. There very well might be an alligator in my house.
(*Alice Price-Healy Little Liddel Abernathy McGuire, my blue classic tabby and white Maine Coon. Yes, I call her by her full name, normally when she pulls stunts like the one described above.)
Even though I'm sure you know this song...
February 10 2010, 10:43:35 UTC 7 years ago
There's an alligator in the house
A toothy grin appears beneath my chair
A scaly tail goes sliding out of sight
Now it's gone - was it ever there?
Something odd has moved into the house
Reptilian tracks lead underneath our bed
And all the cats are tasty, fat, and scared
Though I doubt we've lost any yet
CHORUS
So what's the big deal? Doesn't everyone
Have an alligator somewhere, somehow?
And maybe this one has always been here,
But I never noticed it till now.
There's an alligator in the house
Just caught her napping in the living room
She was dozing on the velvet couch
And the cats were sleeping there too
There's an alligator in the house
No one seems to mind except for me
Well, at least she doesn't eat the cats
I suspect she'd rather eat me
There's an alligator in the pit
she is dancing wildly with the snakes
to win them over to her cause
she will do whatever it takes
They think I don't see their little smiles
as they plan a reptilian overthrow
but I hear them talking in my dreams
they will not be sad to see me go!
CHORUS
I've begun to worry 'bout my toes
The alligator seems to think they're nice
I've counted all of them a hundred times
But I never got the same answer twice
There's an alligator in my bed
she is not a master of disguise
just a pillow waiting for my head
soft and sweet and hungrily she lies
There's an alligator in the house
Today she joined me for a spot of tea
She helped herself to raspberries and cream
And she didn't leave any for me
Well I thought that I had seen it all
but this alligator proved me wrong
like a lady as she drank her tea
she sang to me this little song:
ALLIGATOR'S CHORUS:
"so what's the big deal, doesn't everyone
have an alligator somewhere somehow?
I know you'd miss me if I went away
though you never noticed until now!"
CHORUS
Re: Even though I'm sure you know this song...
February 10 2010, 15:26:34 UTC 7 years ago