Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: nostalgic
  • Music: Evil Dead, "Blew That Bitch Away."

Toys that just don't cut it anymore.

When I was a kid growing up below the poverty line in California, I had a lot of toys that were "the hot new thing" about ten years before they wound up in my grasping little hands. This included the glory of the Creepy Crawlers machine, from Thing Maker. (Modern parents, prepare to be completely and utterly appalled.) It consisted of a small, open-faced grill component capable of baking things at incredibly high temperatures, nine solid metal molds, a metal hook for lifting the hot molds out of the "oven," and a bunch of bottles of liquid sludge called "Plasti-Goop." You plugged the oven in, chose a mold, filled it with multi-colored ooze, and then watched in amazement as heat slowly transformed harmless slime into boiling molten death plastic, and then into cheap quarter-machine plastic bugs, amphibians, and reptiles.

Best. Toy. Ever.

If my mother thought it might be dangerous for me to spend hours sitting on the steps in front of our apartment wearing cut-off shorts and breathing the fumes from a boiling cauldron of molten plastic, she never said anything; really, she probably figured it was cheaper than eating paste or sniffing markers until they dried out (big hobbies with the other kids on my block). Besides, my infinite supply of interestingly-colored plastic creatures meant I only tried to beg for quarters when I wanted gum or a superball, and that was much more reasonable than trying to feed my endless hunger for hideous horror movie props.

I was, I think, nine when my sister (Rachel, the youngest one) wandered innocently out onto the porch, grabbed hold of the cord on my Creepy Crawler machine, and gave it a good yank. The machine promptly flew into the air and stuck to the side of my right calf, at which point I began wailing like a banshee on acid. The machine fell down; the mold didn't. My mother came running out of the apartment and sensibly grabbed my little sister, who was in serious danger of being pitched off the balcony once I finished screaming, and then ran back inside to get some ice. I managed to knock the mold off my leg, leaving an enormous glob of bright orange molten Plasti-Goop behind. More screaming.

Mom came out, and wiped away the plastic; my leg was already starting to blister. I still have the scar, a strawberry-shaped white patch about the size of a man's thumb print on my right calf. It makes an entertaining conversation piece, since "Where did you get that scar?" is rarely answered with "My sister spilled a molten plastic caterpillar mold on my leg."

I miss my Creepy Crawler machine. And if I had it, there's not a parent I know who'd let their children near my house ever again.
Tags: dangerous games, my mom is nuts, so the marilyn
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ericcoleman

January 27 2010, 15:49:07 UTC 7 years ago

And if I had it, there's not a parent I know who'd let their children near my house ever again.

I'd let my kids come over in a minute ...

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2010, 15:52:36 UTC 7 years ago

To play with my PIT OF MOLTEN PLASTIC?

ericcoleman

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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ericcoleman

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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snobahr

7 years ago

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brightlotusmoon

January 27 2010, 16:01:14 UTC 7 years ago

she probably figured it was cheaper than eating paste or sniffing markers until they dried out (big hobbies with the other kids on my block).

I remember when the big thing in the '80s (I was born in '79 and went to public grade school in Brooklyn, NY) was sniffing markers, sniffing and eating glue, and sniffing and chewing blue pens. Now its raiding Grandma's medicine cabinet for hydrocodone. Or did they do that too in the '80s

My childhood best friend, Brian, had a Creepy Crawler maker. Alongside our massive collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys. We made the Turtles fight the Creepy Crawlers. With My Little Ponies. It was awesome. I miss my 1980s childhood.

Just wanted to say thanks for the memories.

lapintada

January 27 2010, 16:03:11 UTC 7 years ago

Wait! Where's the Easy Bake Oven so they could all eat cake after doing battle?

**grin***
THIS I did have!

seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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brightlotusmoon

7 years ago

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lapintada

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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brightlotusmoon

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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lapintada

January 27 2010, 16:02:10 UTC 7 years ago

I would TOTALLY let mine come play!
*I* wanted one of those when I was a kid!!!

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2010, 16:03:50 UTC 7 years ago

I really miss my Creepy Crawler machine. Now I want to find one and make lots of plastic bugs that I don't need.

lapintada

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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dornbeast

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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saladofdoom

January 27 2010, 16:03:26 UTC 7 years ago

That particular toy set was probably the only 'TV toy' set we ever got. One Christmas the parents got the base set for all of us, and one of the expansion sets each.
My favorite of the thingmaker sets was the mini-dragon set, I think that one was either mine or one that was for all of us. (I wasn't 100% clear on the concept of individual ownership until I was much older. My siblings will attest to this.)

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2010, 16:04:22 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, awesome! I had the bugs, the lizards, and the sea creatures.

I HAD THAT TOY!

lastwordy_mcgee

January 27 2010, 16:05:41 UTC 7 years ago

I'd completely forgotten about it until just now. Oh my god, I can smell the goop right now. I can feel the hardened plastic, which was so, so smooth except for the little swirl bump near the middle, where the bottle had been lifted. And the damn salamander toes always broke off in the mold.

Wow. What a sense memory. Thanks.

My father still won't buy me a rock tumbler, despite the fact that I am all growed up and stuff. He says that I broke too many of them and suspects I would still try to shove a brick in there, because a big, smooth, red rock would be an awesome paperweight and conversation piece that I could tell people was a petrified lump of yeti kidney or dragon spleen. I simply have no idea where he gets these crazy ideas. Everybody knows carnelian makes the best artificial petrified organs.

My friends with children don't let me tell stories from my own childhood. They fear incidents involving marshmallows, 200 rabbits in the bedroom, a enormous pile of grated soap, and secret passages dug through dry wall. I have tried to explain that their fears are groundless, since chances are their children do not have access to 200 rabbits, three dozen bars of soap, or dry wall tools--they do not care. Those kids are missing out, I tell you!

Re: I HAD THAT TOY!

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2010, 22:21:59 UTC 7 years ago

Your friends with children need to embrace the awesome of your childhood. 'Cause dude.

Re: I HAD THAT TOY!

melissajm

7 years ago

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Re: I HAD THAT TOY!

lastwordy_mcgee

7 years ago

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shaharazad

January 27 2010, 16:09:51 UTC 7 years ago

Defintiely awesomeness. I remember having fun with this as a kid. Don't remember if I actually owned one or played with it at a friend's house. But I loved those rubber bugs from the supermarket vending machines, so the concept of being able to make my own was definitely cool.

As a teenager I went on to buying molding kits for making my own lead miniatures for D&D.

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2010, 22:22:31 UTC 7 years ago

They were custom when you made them yourself. That made them awesome.

Yay, lead minis!

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Re: oh they were so cool

seanan_mcguire

January 27 2010, 22:22:48 UTC 7 years ago

AWESOME.

lit_mischief

January 27 2010, 16:30:09 UTC 7 years ago

The latest cool 'boiling chemicals are awesome for kidz' toy is the Crayola Crayon Maker, which works much like an Easy-Bake for leftover crayons, now with added 'pour the boiling hot liquid into molds and hope they work' action. Science is awesome.

bercilakslady

January 27 2010, 20:34:02 UTC 7 years ago

I'm really suspicious about that one. I'm almost tempted to buy it just to see if it works.

seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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princesselwen

5 years ago

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sweetmusic_27

January 27 2010, 16:36:50 UTC 7 years ago

But the best thing about Creepy Crawlers is you could make glow-in-the-dark bugs. I loved that.

(Santa got me a Creepy Crawlers maker.)

seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:04:37 UTC 7 years ago

Santa is awesome.

I miss my Plasti-Goop and the freedom it granted me. They're making it again, but not in glow-formula.

khasael

January 27 2010, 17:19:32 UTC 7 years ago

This was an awesome stroll down memory lane. I can even hear the eerie sing-song way "Creepy Crawlers" was said in the TV commercials. I never had one of these machines, but I wanted one. I did have an Easy Bake Oven, which leaves me with the memory of the exploding cake, and just how impossible it is to get fried-on chocolate cake batter off a light bulb. Does anyone else remember Doctor Dreadful and his Freaky Food Lab, or Dreadful Drink Lab? *sigh* I miss my My Little Ponies, and my brother's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle collection, which weighed more in total than my brother and I combined at the time. And as I write this, I can see his collection of the recently-acquired re-released TMNT figures on his bookshelf (two of each--one for displaying, in packaging, and one for playing).

Nostalgia makes me ramble.

seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:05:07 UTC 7 years ago

Nostalgia is awesome. Says the girl with over a hundred My Little Ponies.

marsdejahthoris

January 27 2010, 17:35:16 UTC 7 years ago

I remember the CARTOON series. Giant bugs made from magic slime as heroes! ... It was actually funny, although the praying mantis had the WORST fake-Asian accent ever...

seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:05:26 UTC 7 years ago

Hee!

marsdejahthoris

7 years ago

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markbernstein

January 27 2010, 17:54:13 UTC 7 years ago

I had one of those, and loved it. Here's the original, black-and-white commercial:


seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:05:43 UTC 7 years ago

Dude, WIN!

valdary

January 27 2010, 18:00:48 UTC 7 years ago

Can't top any of that!

Best I can come up with is a working toy washing machine I used to wash my dolls clothes in.

It was a grand toy and got the clothes nicely clean but I don't think it was dangerous,

My TV toy was a Lady Penelope marionette who was always tangled in her strings

seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:06:10 UTC 7 years ago

See, now I wish I'd had one of those. I always hated scrubbing my Barbie clothes in the sink with a toothbrush.

persis

January 27 2010, 18:06:41 UTC 7 years ago

Somewhere in my garage is the machine, Talis got it for an Xmas present years ago, but I think it was for some thing like jewelry... Now I need to go find it. If the creepy crawler molds were available, I would so totally be getting them.

seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:06:28 UTC 7 years ago

Flea markets. They solve everything.

wendigomountain

January 27 2010, 18:14:09 UTC 7 years ago

I've got an old kit of my dads for making your own LEAD SOLDIERS! That's right, kids. You too can pour molten lead into a steal mold and produce your own knights, doughboys, and civil war cavalry soldiers out of harmless heavy metal!

Though he never let me actually make the soldiers, I used to play with them all the time and never once got lead poisoning.

seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:06:46 UTC 7 years ago

Woo-hoo!

Congrats on your lack of heavy metal related illness.

maverick_weirdo

January 27 2010, 18:15:51 UTC 7 years ago

I had the Master Caster Hot Wheels Car Maker



It used wax instead of plastic. My brother and I discovered that we could melt crayons to get more color variety.

It was fun till we lost all the wheels

seanan_mcguire

January 28 2010, 05:06:59 UTC 7 years ago

Niiiiiiiiiiice.

liret

January 27 2010, 18:26:15 UTC 7 years ago

I wanted one of those so badly! Never realized until now it's probably just as well I didn't get one.

seanan_mcguire

February 1 2010, 16:40:55 UTC 7 years ago

I loved it so.

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bearhand

January 28 2010, 02:39:35 UTC 7 years ago

Do you remember Knockers from the seventies? Two hard plastic cue ball sized balls attached to one cord that you slammed together. My cousins got one each and promptly cracked their thumbs and one got a concussion. Good times, good times.

My parents immediately decided that I would not be receiving those toys as a re-gift. I would have dispensed head traumas to everyone in reach.

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fionn320

7 years ago

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bearhand

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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OMG I HAD ONE TOO!

wendyzski

January 27 2010, 18:48:44 UTC 7 years ago

Got it at a garage sale - it was awesome. And as I recall I never burned myself on it - because I was between 4 and 8 (that's when we lived in that house) so I had already made the Hot=Bad connection.

Did you know there was a later incarnation with different goo that was EDIBLE?? I was SOOOO jealous!

Re: OMG I HAD ONE TOO!

seanan_mcguire

February 1 2010, 16:47:46 UTC 7 years ago

It tasted terrible.

Stuff the kids...

willibald

January 27 2010, 19:35:43 UTC 7 years ago

... if you had one today I'd want to come over and play (the Atlantic and the bulk of the USA being in the way not withstanding).

I saw one demonstrated at a pre-Christmas visit to a department store but was never allowed to have one, so I had to make do with setting fire to the back of my hand with molten plastic that I had been stretching over a candle to make aerial wires for model aircraft.

Re: Stuff the kids...

seanan_mcguire

February 1 2010, 16:48:05 UTC 7 years ago

If I had one, you'd be quite welcome.

Yay, fire!

mariadkins

January 27 2010, 19:41:00 UTC 7 years ago

before we lost him in the late 70s, i had an uncle who was a higher up at kenner toys in cincinnati. i had a ton of kewl things that never saw store shelves. and i had a ton of kewl things while they were still prototypes before they ever saw the store - like Darci and Stretch Armstrong. yes, i had a Stretch Armstrong ... LOL

lysystratae

January 28 2010, 23:44:32 UTC 7 years ago

Did your stretch armstrongeventually start bleeding redgoo thur his "pores"? My brother's did, and bein the sick kids we were we thought it was very cool, lol

mariadkins

7 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

7 years ago

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mariadkins

7 years ago

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jmward14

January 27 2010, 20:17:41 UTC 7 years ago

We are totally the product of our toys. :D

seanan_mcguire

February 1 2010, 16:48:35 UTC 7 years ago

Very much so.

kyburg

January 27 2010, 20:40:24 UTC 7 years ago

That older, contrite brother?

Got that *exact* machine in 1965, for Christmas. That's the year I got my first record player (at the tender age of 5) and he gave me the Beatles on 45 RPM because he was 'tired of them.' I'm not sure if it was that, or to save him from the endless repetitions of the one Disney record that came with the player.

But the creepy crawler thing? Was actually a combo player with Vac-U-Form being the other half of the combo. This thing. See that black pit? That's where creepy crawlers come from. You also cooked your pre-perfed plastic sheets over that and then SLAMMED them over the molds you had set up on the opposite side and hopefully got something that looked like a toy instead of a plastic biscuit.

Did I mention hot? And if you happened to miss the perfs with that sheet of plastic, what happened? PHEW. And I was a helpful little mite - and adored that big brother. So when he missed and first impulse grabbed - well, I did too and blam. My poor brother. He was endlessly saving me from myself, it would seem.

(I'm also the one with a messed up lower lip because I wanted to see what light tasted like and attempted it with a nightlight (three degree electrical burn and lost 50% of the lower lip). Guess who pulled me off the circuit? Yeah.)

seanan_mcguire

February 1 2010, 16:48:48 UTC 7 years ago

Wooooooooooooooooooooow.

And yet you lived.

kyburg

7 years ago

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tikiera

January 27 2010, 20:47:54 UTC 7 years ago

My mother only got me 'girl' toys, and I had to buy the boy toys myself with money earned from errands, shoveling snow etc - so most of toys were cheaper 'cause I also have the patience of a rabid weasel.

What I did get one year was a a chocolate maker. It plugged in, had a round spot that got very hot, pans for melting chocolate and molds.

My god, you could burn things on that burner. And we did. Once the chocolate ran out. Never did burn myself, but I can't say the same for my friends.

seanan_mcguire

February 1 2010, 16:49:22 UTC 7 years ago

I liked the girl toys, but really, I got whatever the yard sales had.

Yay for semi-controlled burns!

mariadkins

7 years ago

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dave_ifversen

January 27 2010, 22:00:57 UTC 7 years ago

Wow - I had forgotten all about that. I had the creepy-crawlers toy - it was great. I also had the molds to make the troll heads that went over the eraser end of pencils. And, at one time, I even had the "incredible edibles" set, with that hideous edible plastic gunk.

seanan_mcguire

February 1 2010, 16:49:32 UTC 7 years ago

Awesome!
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