Things Seanan Isn't Allowed To Discuss With the Reporter.: seanan

Things Seanan Isn't Allowed To Discuss With the Reporter.

So I have a reporter from the Contra Costa Times coming over this afternoon to interview me and take some pictures for a local author profile piece. This is pretty cool. I've never been profiled in the newspaper before. We've cleaned the whole house (for values of "we" that mean "mostly my mother"), my room is slightly less of an EPA hazard zone than usual, and the cats have been thoroughly lectured on not throwing up in front of the cameraman. After a great deal of discussion, I have agreed to the following list of Things Seanan Isn't Allowed To Discuss With the Reporter (unless she starts it):

1. The Black Death.
2. Parasites.
3. How parasites caused us to evolve gender.
4. Endemic bubonic plague in California's ground squirrels.
5. The X-Men.
6. Crazy Australian mermaid shows.
7. Anything involving venom.
8. Dinosaurs.
9. The inevitability of the zombie apocalypse.
10. Anything that involves socially unacceptable hand gestures.
11. The ineffective nature of H1N1 as a slatewiper pandemic.
12. How my pandemic would be better.
13. Pandemics, period.
14. My collection of My Little Ponies.
15. My collection of plush weaponry.
16. My collection of plush viruses.
17. Banana slugs.
18. How to evolve a society of pseudo-mammal telepaths from parasitic wasps.
19. Why you would want to do that in the first place.
20. Giant squid.
21. Reality television.
22. Bedbug reproduction.
23. Anything Kate won't let me talk about during dinner.
24. Necrosis.
25. The slow conversion of aspartame into formaldehyde.
26. Monkeyspheres.
27. The fact that the turtle couldn't help us.
28. My limited and specialized knowledge of ASL.
29. The virtues of the machete vs. the meat cleaver.
30. That vial of liquid mercury I bought at a garage sale.
31. Tarantulas.
32. Cheese.
33. Jerusalem crickets.
34. What I did last summer.
35. The vast disparity between women's "appropriate" weight and the things women eat in television commercials.
36. Evil Dead: the Musical.
37. Why you should turn to cannibalism immediately when stranded on a desert island.
38. Kuru.
39. Flensing.
40. Parthenogenic reproduction.
41. Reasons to go crawling around in a sewer.
42. Observing autopsies.
43. Why yoga is better with Rob Zombie.
44. SyFy Original Movies.
45. The drinking games that accompany same.
46. Why I went to Waverly Place last time I was in Manhattan.
47. Pie.
48. Pi.
49. Structured poetry.
50. People as an available source of protein.

angel_vixen

January 7 2010, 19:22:49 UTC 7 years ago

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30. That vial of liquid mercury I bought at a garage sale.

Actually, that's really cool, and I think #49 should be a topic of conversation more often (along with mythology).

AngelVixen :-)

seanan_mcguire

January 7 2010, 19:31:04 UTC 7 years ago

It's awesome. I want to use it to make hats, but the part where I'd go insane sort of makes the idea difficult.

lluad

January 7 2010, 19:46:36 UTC 7 years ago

Hats made from Structured Poetry would be enough to drive anyone insane. Tempting, though.

January 7 2010, 22:51:51 UTC 7 years ago

They'd be paper mache with a bonus literary center.

ladymondegreen

January 7 2010, 19:48:04 UTC 7 years ago

This is why you need a cleanroom and tiny hat-making-appropriate waldoes ...

Also? #3 and #28 combined very nicely last night at LMG rehearsal when

batyatoon conveyed #3 to me, via hand gestures.

January 7 2010, 20:42:19 UTC 7 years ago

I was so proud of myself that I managed not to sporfle my drink when reading this list.

...I didn't have as much luck when reading your comment.

AngelVixen, in search of paper towels :-)

January 7 2010, 22:52:19 UTC 7 years ago

I find it deeply pleasing that Alex relayed the gender factoid to Batya, who then relayed it to you. I'm spreading knowledge!

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