I'm a professional, I swear,: seanan

I'm a professional, I swear,

I am a professional. I am aware of what is and is not appropriate conversation for polite company (although I sometimes forget when the topics of "pandemic disease" or "zombies" come up; sadly, I can be goaded into gleeful explanations of latency and droplet-based transmission just about anywhere, including the dinner table). I wear real grown-up shoes when I have to take business meetings, and I have a calm, measured telephone voice.

All this being said, there's a reason I don't usually take phone calls in my house.

The Agent called to discuss my upcoming trip to New York, during which we're going to be doing several dinner-type things, some meeting-type things, and a lot of hanging out. During our forty-minute or so discussion, she was treated to...

"Ow! Ow ow OW! Goddammit, Alice, get your claws out of my fucking leg!"
"No. No, you can't have that. No, that isn't yours. No."
"Get off of there! Jesus, cat, I swear, I will skin you."
"I can get new cats, you know. Better cats. Smaller cats. Cats that don't do that."
"Alice, give back my bra."
"I'm serious, Alice. Give me back my damn bra."
"THAT'S MY FUCKING BRA, CAT!"
"Okay, I give up. Just do whatever the fuck you want."

...all while we were having a serious business discussion. I swear, the fact that she hasn't drowned me and put me out of her misery is something of a miracle.

scholarinexile

November 5 2009, 12:29:40 UTC 7 years ago

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I think this is an indicator of being a cat owner, because I have phone conversations like this all the time. As well as periodically sending an instant message with a random string of e's in the middle because Eris just decided to live up to her namesake by charging across the keyboard.

And as for being a professional and knowing what is and is not appropriate professional conversation- um. As a forensic anthropologist and evolutionary biologist, appropriate topics of conversation for my profession include such things as fragmentation of human bodies in plane crashes and insect species in which natural selection favors allowing your mate to eat you, during sex. I have learned the hard way that, outside my professional circles, my friends typically do not want to hear about these things while we're out for appetizers, in doctors' offices, or in some cases, anywhere, period. One day, perhaps I'll learn not to bring them up.

jacylrin

November 5 2009, 13:46:37 UTC 7 years ago

Hey, I edit proposals for a government contractor, but I'd be happy to hear about such things wherever :-)

Then again, Seanan's flist is not exactly an accurate sampling of the general population ;-)

phillip2637

November 5 2009, 15:02:06 UTC 7 years ago

"Seanan's flist is not exactly an accurate sampling of the general population"

From the book of "things that should be available on T-shirts"! :-)

November 5 2009, 15:04:21 UTC 7 years ago

The fact that the tags before and after the quote when the comment was sent to me in plain text email are em and /em amuses me, since my name is Emily and I tend to go by Em ;-)

seanan_mcguire

November 6 2009, 18:41:22 UTC 7 years ago

...sadly probably true.

November 6 2009, 18:46:09 UTC 7 years ago

Normal is boring ;-)

keristor

November 5 2009, 16:54:47 UTC 7 years ago

Naming a cat after the Goddess of Chaos (all hail Discordia!) counts as living dangerously, if not premeditated insanity *g*...

November 5 2009, 17:04:25 UTC 7 years ago

I have also met cats named Loki. Also counts as Asking for Trouble.

stevemb

November 5 2009, 17:51:57 UTC 7 years ago

Vir lives up to his name (smart, timid, a bit pudgy). Good thing we didn't name him "Londo" or "G'Kar"....

November 5 2009, 18:00:59 UTC 7 years ago

Kosh might be a good name for a cat. Mysterious and usually aloof, but getting into everything when you're not looking...

angel_vixen

November 5 2009, 17:32:42 UTC 7 years ago Edited: November 5 2009, 17:35:33 UTC

Former friend called her new kitten Loki Severus, and then was truly puzzled when he would flip-flop between grouchy and mischievous, with sleep as the only middle ground. And the other day, another friend of mine fell over when her nephew announced his brand-new daughter's name would be Kali (pronounced "Kaylee").

Oy!

AngelVixen :-)

droewyn

November 7 2009, 04:45:32 UTC 7 years ago

I have a Folderol ("Folly") and both of her names are incredibly apt.

November 5 2009, 19:05:43 UTC 7 years ago

I maintain to this day that I didn't so much name her as select the name that her nature and disposition had already preconditioned her for. She's a joy, but we never know what to expect from her next. Her sister, Mina (for Dracula's lady) is a bit more sedate, but like all cats, the trouble they can produce together is squares rather than merely doubled.

shiyiya

November 9 2009, 07:55:35 UTC 7 years ago

That was about my thought. "You're ASKING for it, naming a cat that...." Mine are rather boringly named Tabby and Bluebell. My mother named Tabby :P

November 6 2009, 18:41:02 UTC 7 years ago

...all of these things are TOTALLY APPROPRIATE conversation and you should come over here and talk about them RIGHT NOW.

November 6 2009, 18:59:23 UTC 7 years ago Edited: November 6 2009, 18:59:42 UTC

See, you understand! These days, if I start going on about adipocere or frame-shift mutations during dinner, and half my friends put down their forks and give me that Look. This from the same crowd of people who were a moment before discussion their bloody battle with a plague doctor in our D&D campaign from the night before (and yes, I've made plague doctors a primary villain in my D&D campaigns, where the current story arc involves an effort to control the spread of a sentient plague. You can make a guest appearance any time you like). I'll be more than happy to discuss such grotesqueries with you at any time you like, hon. It occurs to me that some time I should arrange to be in the same geographic locality as you.

November 9 2009, 07:56:12 UTC 7 years ago

This sounds fascinating. I need friends like you people :P

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