Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire

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Do not want...but why not?

Recently, I picked up a book that looked interesting. It hit many of my "sweet spots" for plot, description, and cover blurbs from people I trust. The cover didn't do it any favors, featuring, as it did, a generic Urban Fantasy Hot Girl standing in a Playboy circa-1984 pose, but I've enjoyed books with way worse covers. I entered the text in good faith.

By page two, I was ready to fling the book across the room. Why? Because the author had chosen to scramble the spelling of a common-to-the-genre word in a way that made it look not only pretentious, but difficult to read. This is a personal bug-a-boo of mine, since I really do feel that spelling was standardized for a reason, and while I managed to soldier through, it colored my ability to sink into the text for several chapters.

(As an aside, seriously: not all words become more interesting and mysterious when spelled with a vestigial "y." The worst example I've ever seen was in a YA series full of "mermyds," and the fact that I made it through all three volumes is a testament to the power of raw stubborn.)

One reader of Rosemary and Rue posted a lengthy, positive review, more than half of which was taken up by complaints about the pronunciation guide. Specifically, I didn't write down the correct pronunciation of "Kitsune." It's a fair cop—if you pronounce the word as written in the pronunciation guide, you'll be saying it wrong—and it's been corrected for A Local Habitation, but it was, for this person, as bad as if I'd spelled Toby's name "Aughtcober" and then claimed it was pronounced just like the month. Bug-a-boos for all!

Kate recently delivered a long and eloquent diatribe on "back cover buzz-word bingo," which I really wish I'd had a video camera running for, because it was awesome. The summation is that she watches the back covers of books for certain "buzz-words," and, if the book works up to a magical bingo score, she doesn't read it. I do something similar with bad horror movies, since there are specific buzz-words that mean "soft core porn" and "gratuitous torture," and those really aren't what I'm watching the movie to see.

So what are your bug-a-boos? Terribly twisted spelling? Pronunciations that you don't agree with? Buzz-words oozing off the back cover and getting all over your shoes? How about heroines with ruby hair and emerald eyes who aren't appearing in an Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld fanfic epic? Inquiring blondes want to know!
Tags: contemplation, cranky blonde is cranky, don't be dumb, kate, oh the humanity, reading things
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  • 181 comments
The thing with similar titles in a series gets me now and then because I lose track of which ones I've read and which I haven't and if it's not a series I adore I'll just stop buying them to avoid picking up another copy of the same book.

I'm getting very tired of books where the main characters go all boinky after having just met. It didn't used to bother me but now that paranormal romance has become such a wide market it's way over used. Being a little floored or attracted to someone is one thing, but instant attract leading to naked fun in a character that's not presented as being rather slutty? Not too believable. I haven't thrown a book across the room for it yet but I've been come close a time or two.

A main character that's irresistible to anyone of the opposite (or sometimes the same) sex. Dude, people have types and your buxom redhead with tits out to here and lavender eyes or your mouthy, actively unpleasant at times petite brunette with the ultimate cosmic boinky undead powers isn't going to do it for everyone!

Lots more, probably, these are just the ones irritating me this morning ;-)
On the first, I'll add "series with very clear gimmicks that make no sense, hence allowing the titles to all blend together." I'm still not sure where I am in the Kim Harrison books, because I don't watch Westerns (and didn't realize that was the gimmick for ages.)

Also, yes! Yes, yes, yes. I hate it when every single man/woman in the book is helplessly in love with the MC. Dude, what? Half the population just doesn't want to do the other half. Sex doesn't work that way.