A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.: seanan

A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.

I, Seanan McGuire, am intending to be writing books, stories, and other bits of fiction for the foreseeable future. Because I am a reasonably nice person (except when I'm not) who likes not being lynched (except when I do), I have decided to make the following promises. They're sort of the other side of my personal resolutions (see also "Flowers, Chocolates, and Promises You Don't Intend to Keep"), only they're a little more geared toward stuff I won't do because I don't want to be an asshole.

I. If something is part of a series, I will say that it is part of a series. I won't stealthily trick you into picking up a book and then spring a cliffhanger on you. I won't promise that stand-alone books will never develop sequels, but I promise that as soon as I know, I'll get the information out there. (Kate will tell you I don't write stand-alone books. Kate is sadly probably right.)

II. If I discover that a book has been packaged in a way that does not clearly indicate that something is part of a series, I will make doubly sure to include series information in a prominent place on my website, because a little typing now is a lot more fun than a lot of getting yelled at later.

III. I will do my absolute best to end every book in a way which makes it perfectly okay to say "right, done now." If this isn't possible, for whatever reason, I will only end a book on a cliffhanger or unresolved note when I can provide a guaranteed publication date for the sequel.

IV. I will not change genres in the middle of an ongoing series just because I've decided that I really want to be writing steampunk horror instead of urban fantasy and don't want to go through the work of starting something new. (Actually, I always want to go through the work of starting something new. Still, it's nice to be upfront.)

V. If I get tired of a series, I will bring it to a reasonable and satisfying conclusion, rather than continuing to beat the dead horse for another eighteen volumes out of inertia.

VI. I will keep my FAQs up-to-date and accessible, thus making it a little less annoying when I become completely overwhelmed and answer ninety percent of the questions I receive with "it's in the FAQs." (This should also give me time to answer the remaining ten percent in English, not Typo. Typo is a strange and difficult language, and I've never really mastered it.)

VII. I will continue to put myself through rigorous and vicious editorial, because the editing process is fun. Also because if I stop allowing myself to be edited, Vixy and Brooke will come for me in the night. They will come for me in the night with very sharp sticks, and they will edit me.

VIII. I will not answer fair and reasoned critique with "oh yeah? Why don't you come over here and say it to my face, punk?" For one thing, some people might, and those are usually the people that are bigger than I am.

IX. I will not rewrite my work to meet unfair and unreasoned critique. Not everyone is going to like me. I will attempt to be at peace with that. When I am not at peace with that, I will attempt to do something other than "hide under the bed and hope they go away."

X. I will not answer "you killed my favorite character" with "it sucks to be you, doesn't it?" I also won't resurrect anybody whose resurrection was not already planned. No, not even if you cry.

XI. If you say "Bob is my favorite character," and then we have a big fight, I will not take it out on Bob. That isn't fair to Bob. It isn't fair to my plot, either. But damn, I'll probably be tempted.

XII. I will not write a book just for the purpose of "creating real literature" and "finally being taken seriously as an author." I take horror movies, My Little Ponies, and street pennies seriously. I thus must assume that some people will take me seriously no matter what I do, and since they don't require me to wear a powder blue pantsuit and go on Oprah, they're the ones that matter.

XIII. I will remember that I am Christopher Walken, and enjoy every minute of it.

smoooom

July 14 2009, 21:30:10 UTC 7 years ago

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Re V thank you thank you thank you. Actually thank you for most of them, I wish more writers (I can't spell Athur) were as considerate. Just ask my Hubby sometime.

seanan_mcguire

July 14 2009, 22:27:41 UTC 7 years ago

Deep, soothing breaths.

spectralbovine

July 14 2009, 21:33:41 UTC 7 years ago

Ha, it's funny that you write this now because just last night I finished a book and discovered that I had unwittingly stumbled into a series. Oops. I don't mind terribly, but still. I probably wouldn't have read it if I had known otherwise! Maybe.

If this isn't possible, for whatever reason, I will only end a book on a cliffhanger or unresolved note when I can provide a guaranteed publication date for the sequel.
*grins evilly*

For one thing, some people might, and those are usually the people that are bigger than I am.
I am not. I don't think. Maybe taller.

I will remember that I am Christopher Walken
You are, are you? Are you sure you're Christopher Walken and not, you know, the Walkin' Dude?

July 14 2009, 22:28:00 UTC 7 years ago

If I walk without rhythm, I don't attract the worm!

judifilksign

7 years ago

maniakes

scifantasy

July 14 2009, 21:35:47 UTC 7 years ago

Kate will tell you I don't write stand-alone books. Kate is sadly probably right.

It's like the Babylon 5 Mantra...and about as accurate.

They will come for me in the night with very sharp sticks, and they will edit me.

Machetes and chainsaws, surely.

July 14 2009, 22:28:32 UTC 7 years ago

Very much like that, absolutely. And they wouldn't edit me in a fatal manner, just one I wouldn't enjoy terribly much.

mtgat

July 14 2009, 21:39:38 UTC 7 years ago

X

*cries*

July 14 2009, 21:41:35 UTC 7 years ago

*does not resurrect*

hsifyppah

July 14 2009, 21:45:09 UTC 7 years ago

They will come for me in the night with very sharp sticks, and they will edit me.

We'd really hate to have to ret-con the evaporation of the world's supply of DDP in your timeline. It'd be a shame if someone made us do something... rash.

July 14 2009, 21:48:20 UTC 7 years ago

Wah!

djonn

Brief Reader's Credo

deire

July 14 2009, 22:02:22 UTC 7 years ago

And in return for courteous authordom, I at least will undertake to never whinge that you haven't written exactly the plot I want right naooooooowwwwww instead of kicking my own ass and uttering the mantra, "If I'm being that particular, I should write something of my own (without bothering other people whose lives oddly enough do not depend on my whims)." ;) I will also read the FAQ. I will endeavor to make any critiques reasoned and fair, and not gut someone's work because the author stepped on my cat's tail or something equally non fatal.

Courtesy. Keeping humans from lighting each other on fire or eating each other on a regular basis since before sliced bread.

I will however cry a little inside if I ever see you on Oprah unless you bring the My Little Ponies with you.

Re: Brief Reader's Credo

July 15 2009, 14:30:49 UTC 7 years ago

Your credo pleases me. And if I wind up on any TV talk show, it's likely to be Ellen, and I promise to bring either a chainsaw or a machete.

dornbeast

dr_zrfq

July 14 2009, 22:03:52 UTC 7 years ago

Re: XI...

montuos suggests that you could write up a scene in which you *do* take it out on Bob, but not as part of the actual book... and in extreme cases, you could send the scene to the person you had the big fight with.

July 14 2009, 22:24:28 UTC 7 years ago

Appin Dungannon syndrome?

bobmage

kvtaylor

July 14 2009, 22:12:09 UTC 7 years ago

I will not write a book just for the purpose of "creating real literature" and "finally being taken seriously as an author." I take horror movies, My Little Ponies, and street pennies seriously.

Serious, serious <3

July 15 2009, 14:31:24 UTC 7 years ago

Yay!

markbernstein

July 14 2009, 22:22:38 UTC 7 years ago

V may turn out to be the toughest one, as it carries the implicit clause, " . . . no matter how much money the publisher offers me, or how much The Agent cries." :)

July 14 2009, 22:44:18 UTC 7 years ago

Yeah, Weber was gonna kill off Harrington a couple of books ago, and changed his mind due to editorial pressures. I'm just glad the quality has not dropped off (probably because he's shifted POV in the universe so much, he still has "new" things to do.)

miintikwa

July 14 2009, 22:54:10 UTC 7 years ago

V ♥

Also, YAY XIII. I wanna be Christopher Walken, too. :D

July 16 2009, 15:08:34 UTC 7 years ago

*walks without rhythm*

tikiera

July 14 2009, 23:18:24 UTC 7 years ago

You know, much "real literature" was popular literature it's in time.

I thank you deeply for these.

July 16 2009, 15:08:57 UTC 7 years ago

Very welcome. :)

mariadkins

July 14 2009, 23:47:29 UTC 7 years ago

This is awesome.

July 16 2009, 15:09:35 UTC 7 years ago

I'm glad you approve.

Deleted comment

July 16 2009, 15:09:49 UTC 7 years ago

Awwwwwwwwww.

tsukara

July 15 2009, 01:49:50 UTC 7 years ago

I will not write a book just for the purpose of "creating real literature" and "finally being taken seriously as an author."

Good on you! As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter what genre or sub-genre it's in: anything can be real lit if it's written well! I'm glad to see my friends, especially my writer friends, holding the same conviction.

July 16 2009, 15:10:03 UTC 7 years ago

Good! That makes me happy.

July 16 2009, 15:10:19 UTC 7 years ago

I thought you'd approve.

kyrielle

July 15 2009, 04:56:17 UTC 7 years ago

VII. And several of the rest of us might egg them on, at the least. You rock. You rock enough to know that editing is still a good thing, which means you rock more. :)

July 16 2009, 15:10:34 UTC 7 years ago

Yay rock!

stagemanager

July 15 2009, 05:38:57 UTC 7 years ago

Bravo!

July 16 2009, 15:10:45 UTC 7 years ago

Glee.

janeg

July 15 2009, 14:13:35 UTC 7 years ago

Excellent promises.

I am sure it is long past overdue for an Oprah guest to bring a pink chainsaw on screen.

July 16 2009, 00:28:38 UTC 7 years ago

Don't forget the pumpkin-f... I mean "safety" orange machete and My Little Pony ammo bandolier.

mneme

July 16 2009, 21:03:42 UTC 7 years ago

Yay! That's a damned good set of resolutions.

IV: While changing genres in the middle of a series is clearly BAD (way to piss of your existing readers without writing something accessible to new ones, no?), I could see serious coolness with two (or more) series that are in the same universe but happen to be in different genres. As long as they -are- separate series, and not one big series with several names.

V. YAY!

XII: Damned straight!

XIII: Wait. You are? Did everyone else get the memo? I didn't get the memo.

July 22 2009, 13:34:58 UTC 7 years ago

It's a weird memo. Just run with it.

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