Of authors and agents.

I read the essay comparing agents to the spawn of Satan and was rolling my eyes before I was halfway through it. Someone clearly has their undies in a twist over a) agents turning her down, b) a friend being turned down, or c) both a and b. Her argument that agents only want to make as much money as fast as possible would mean agents would be *more* picky about what they take and try to sell, so what hits an editor's desk would be high quality, not the tripe she describes in her expression of sour grapes (unless she had Stephenie Meyer's agent in mind, in which case I can see where she'd conclude agents traffic in tripe).

I love how she whines about how agents actually have the gall to tell writers how they want queries and manuscripts submitted to them. The gall of agents, wanting things done a certain way! Writers should be able to do things however they want and the agents should accept that because they should be glad writers are contacting them at all! xp Oh, and how dare an agent tell a writer querying them they can't take another client at the moment! How rude! Imagine, not wanting to overextend yourself. Beyond selfish. *rolls eyes* Querying an agent is, in my mind, like submitting your resume to a prospective employer in that you want to make a good impression and pique their interest. There are Rules for cover letters, resumes, and interviews. Snit and snort all you want about those Rules but it doesn't change the fact that if you want a job you follow the Rules because the dozens or hundreds of others also applying for the same job are.

At the bottom, she links to a story that's been rejected by at least sixty agents, most of whom have never actually read the story. I'm reading what's supposed to be stirring sympathy for the poor, rejected authoress, and all I'm feeling is a vague sense of annoyance and a certainty that it's a lousy query letter, not heartless agents who exist solely to crush aspiring writers while laughing an evil laugh, to blame. As for the agents who did read some of the manuscript, it's definitely the manuscript.

I should leave a comment for Ms. Sour Grapes telling her to grow up and pull the Staff of Self-Righteousness out of her rear end, and say to her an extended version of the same things I said here about querying being like applying for a job. *twitch* Speshul!Snowflakes make my butt twitch.

Out of curiosity I clicked on the link to her story.

Looking at it her description, I can see why no agent is particularly interested in seeing the novel. It's pedestrian, unclear, just generally meh.

The story itself starts with a NOTE TO READER which (along with screaming amateur) explains that every section of her book will open with a visual of the protagonist's diet. So not only would the publisher have to shell out for the normal stuff, they'd have to pay to use said material. Another strike against it.

The book is written in present tense, which seems like an odd choice for the type of story. The author never uses one adjective when four will do, and nothing about her protagonist makes me want to spend a whole novel in her company.

I don't know about you, but I think all the agents who rejected her were on to something.

(Wow, that got snarky.)

Actually, she meant diet as in Atkins, South Beach, that kind of thing. Which is why it would cost a bunch to post the copyrighted cover or description or whatever.

Anyway, you're not missing much. ;)

I dunno about Twilight -- the excerpts I've seen of it can be pretty tripey -- but the second book, I think it is? Boy in the after-school enrichment program Book Club had it, and was reading a chunk of it. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared, and it was well within a 4th grader's reading comprehension. He picked an interesting bit to read, too.

I have mixed feelings about that series.

...You're stronger than I am for reading the essay in question, though. I couldn't make it even half-way and I can't bring myself to look at the linked manuscript. *twitch*

The second book has Bella in a state of near-total shutdown because Edward left and near the end she throws herself off a cliff to hear Edward's voice in her head again (b/c he speaks to her when she's in danger). There are the occasional decent bits, but those are as common as the pork is in canned pork and beans.

Not me, I hope!

Oh, heck no! I take way too much pride in my work to ever intentionally publish something like that where anyone could read it. I have standards, after all.

Oh, feh, then.

(Belatedly.)

Thank you for the summary!

There's more in New Moon than just that--but not much.

I should leave a comment for Ms. Sour Grapes telling her to grow up and pull the Staff of Self-Righteousness out of her rear end...

I always liked the version of this sentiment that goes, "Come down off the cross, honey. We need the wood."

"Come down off the cross, honey. We need the wood."

*dies laughing*

I like the extended version: get down off the cross so you can use the wood to build a bridge and get over it!

Until then, if my editors want me to turn things in on happy Care Bear paper, I damn well will.

*laughs* That's one way to put it, and I agree wholeheartedly. Maybe I'm too brainwashed into the whole 'dance to their tune and kiss their butt' mindset about trying to get a job, but making sure my letter conforms to certain criteria and guidelines is a complete non-issue to me. What's the big deal if they want a specific type of paper and a specific format--unless we're talking paper made from the fibers of a rare mountain flower found only on the top of Everest and ink made from the blood of infants sacrificed at the full moon. I draw the line at infanticide and not buying American. ;D

*blushes* But we hardly know each other! Isn't it a little soon for that kind of thing? ;D